Living in Rishton, Lancashire

Rishton: The Absolute low of Great Britain

If you can survive in Rishton then you are undoubtedly better than Bear Grylls.

Living in Shirley, Southampton

Southampton: The ex soviet bloc government funded retirement resort

It has now gotten to the point down Shirley high street in Southampton, that there's more Polish/Romanian/Bulgarian/ ex USSR signs than there are charity shops!

Living in Amble, Northumberland

Amble: the population of 6,022 is now almost entirely related

Forced to procreate among themselves for the last 600 years, Amble residents possess some of the lowest rates of genetic variation in the world.

Living in Longtown, Cumbria

Oh Longtown… You suck!

Longtown has a long history, especially with it being on the border of England and Scotland. Although ask many of the locals who were educated from the 80s onwards and they couldn't tell you any of it.

Living in Southam, Warwickshire

Southam… probably one of the dullest towns around

Southam is full of little chavs who hang around in groups trying to intimidate people, but should be in bed by 7.