Lincoln: a tale of two cities

Living in Lincoln, East Midlands

I had the chance to escape back in the 80s and blew it big time. A good job near Heathrow and a lovely girlfriend in Oxfordshire only a couple of miles from Henley on Thames. Temporary insanity is the only thing I can attribute to my decision to return to my hometown, that and being […]

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Boston: I am not a duck!

Living in Boston, Lincolnshire

Boston, this town is the personification of disgusting and hypocrisy combined. You have to visit Boston to believe this statement. Seriously, before you visit make sure you use the bathroom and if using a car, have a spare pair of shoes. There is literally sh*t everywhere and unfortunately it is most likely human sh*t because […]

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Digby: Lincolnshire’s Forgotten Wasteland

Living in Digby, Lincolnshire

If you can survive the only road that makes Bolivia’s “Death Road” look like a walk in the park: the B1188, then you will stumble into Digby. Digby is a quaint little sanctuary where, and I mean this in every sense of the word, nothing happens. Nothing. No Post Office, a [allegedly] ****** pub and […]

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Grimsby: the name says it all, GRIM-sby, it’s an utter dump

Living in Grimsby, Lincolnshire

The name says it all. GRIMsby. After suddenly deciding I wanted to go university three weeks before the new education year started. I was left with very limited options. Grimsby was one. So I decided I would move there for a year and then transfer to a different university of my choice. My god what […]

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Mablethorpe: Oldies ghost town

Living in Maplethorpe, Lincolnshire

Having lived in Mablethorpe for 12 years of my childhood and recently moving back to take care of an elderly relative, I think I can say I know Mablethorpe pretty well. It’s a ghost town. Both banks have now shut down and good luck trying to use the post office for your banking needs if […]

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Lincoln: The Cathedral and Holiday Inn city

Living in Lincoln, Lincolnshire

When I first saw Lincoln I was in awe at the sight of one of the most pretty cathedrals in Britain. However that was all but gone when I entered a city where the greatest monuments not on a big posh hill was a holiday inn, some office blocks (very sparse) and the holy Morrison’s. […]

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Mablethorpe – the land that time forgot

Living in Mablethorpe, Lincolnshire

On recent terrible trip the Lincolnshire town of Mablethorpe I was horrified at the down trodden class of trollops that are attracted to the town. I discovered a large proportion of sink-hole estate vest wearing, roll-up smoking, tattooed unemployable empty heads who were swearing their heads off at every opportunity. Flatulence was the main mode […]

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Bourne: a backwater Lincolnshire market town

Living in Bourne, Lincolnshire

Now there has been a couple of articles on here written about Bourne, which where down right nasty and scathing. Now here is the truth. Bourne is a backwater Lincolnshire market town that sits on the A15 to either Sleaford or Peterborough, and believe me, you do not want to go to Sleaford – Despite […]

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Bourne aka Deliverance

Living in Bourne, Lincolnshire

I grew up in Bourne back in the days when it had a population of a mere six thousand benighted souls. It was a violent place especially for an outsider. On my first day at school, aged four, I came out of the classroom and watched the other boys run across the playground egged on […]

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Holbeach, the land of the living dead

Living in Holbeach, Lincolnshire

Holbeach in Lincolnshire, The town that Lincolnshire forgot. A giant open plan retirement home full of people from “Darn Sarf”. It’s so dead all you can hear is the distant whirring of the “mobility scooter”or the repetitive yapping of the far too numerous dogs that seem to be the “must have accessory” here. If you […]

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Fleet: a miserable cabbage plantation of mud and depression in Lincs

Living in Fleet, Lincolnshire

Fleet, an overflow area for the giant southerner retirement home that is Holbeach or “Holbekistan” as it is now known. an industrial estate in the mud, dogshit and rotting veg with some houses in it. Fleet is inhabited by 3 or 4 families of knuckle dragging ******* who have lived there since before the birth […]

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Skegness – where northerners go to die (part 2)

Living in Skegness, Lincolnshire

All in all the locals, whilst obviously stark raving mad and having heads like dropped pies, are harmless enough. They largely prefer to stay indoors screaming at their televisions about how much they hate (in no particular order) foreigners (i.e. everyone not from Lincolnshire) city slickers from Lincoln, every ****** in Boston, them Wainfleet imbreds, […]

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