Living in Herne Bay, Kent

Herne Bay: Kent’s finest for coke addled spontaneous sparring sessions

It's not quite the arsehole (Sheppey) nor the DFL capital (Whitstable) heck, it's not chaversham nor c*nterbury. I give to you, Herne Bay... Kent's finest.

Living in Dover, Kent

Dover – Most neglected unloved town in the UK

The German Army should've levelled Dover back in the 1940's and maybe it wouldn't look like the scrotum of Quasimodo that it does now.

Living in Gillingham, Kent

Gillingham: a quaint little sh*tehouse situated on the river Medway

Gillingham people are easy to distinguish from Chatham-ites (where the geezers are half puggy & most of the lardarse ladies are on the game).

Living in Sheerness

Sheerness: where hopes, dreams and junkies go to die

Sheerness is the end of the line... on a sticky-floored tube train that smells of stale piss, Stella Artois, Amber Leaf and misanthropy.

Living in Aylesham, Kent

Aylesham is a village of Anti-Conservatives and racists

Aylesham has recently gone through a delightful upgrade to the anger of the local residents, who don't like "new bas*ards" in the village.