Living in Eakring, Nottinghamshire

Eakring: not the end of the earth but you sure can see it from there

If anyone that lives In Eakring is ever asked where they live, I'm sure the response would be 'Where's that?!'

Living in Skegness, Lincolnshire

Skegness – where the Northerners go to die

Skegness: not easily described to those who've not experienced its wrist-slashing bleakness and sense of hopelessness.

Living in Boston, Lincolnshire

Boston, in Lincolnshire, seems to be a run down hot bed of degenerates

Shame they drained the marshes, this turd of a town known as Boston would be under 6' of water by now otherwise (with a bit of luck anyway).

Living in Leicester, The Cheater's Haven

Leicester – The Cheater’s Haven

Leicester is a beautiful city spoilt by the dirty men that live in it.

Living in Northampton

Northampton: dangerous at night, unpleasant during the day

A word of advice: when you see Northampton's massive concrete tower, turn around and go back where you came from.