Living in Ilkeston, East Midlands

Ilkeston: The perineum of the east midlands

Activities available in Ilkeston consist of fighting, public urination, dog mating (subject to season) & general drunkenness.

Living in Melton Mowbray, Leicestershire

Melton Mowbray is the most bizarre & terrifying place I’ve ever lived

Melton Mowbray is truly the most inbred town in England. But don't take my word for it... go see for yourself.

Living in Leicester, East Midlands

Leicester – What A God Awful Mess

Leicester seems to be proud of the obvious truth that it's a mess. The great unwashed suffer while deluded fools still insist everything's fine and dandy.

Living in Daventry, Northamptonshire

Daventry, town of the zombie

Daventry... This town doesn't just bore the pants off me, it offends me.

Living in Holbeach, Lincolnshire

Holbeach, the land of the living dead

Holbeach... It's grim here, don't come!