Yeovile or Yobvil as it is better known

Realistically named Yeovile or Yobvil by locals, visitors can appreciate the dire state of the town centre as soon as they arrive and park in one of the tatty car parks surrounded by derelict/semi derelict buildings. Ukrainians settling here probably feel well at home as the Council’s town centre ‘Yeovil Refresh’ programme has turned it into a bomb site. The Poles rebuilt Warsaw after WWII in less time that it has taken the local council to complete a modest programme of refurbishment which seems to comprise paving and seating.

Drugs and stabbing are rife, with County Lines finding a ready customer base and the town centre is certainly not a place to go at night. During the day, you can admire the usual sad people with multi-coloured hair, body piercings which would not disgrace indigenous Africans, and tattoos to rival those of David Beckham.

On the outer fringes of the town, the usual cartel of developers has been throwing up estates of poor quality housing with roads so narrow that two cars can barely pass each other, but which have contributed to the burgeoning profits of the building companies. Even the local football team has been thrown out of the League.

Incidentally, the leader of the LibDems, who have managed the sad decline of a once-thriving town, is currently [allegedly] residing in Dartmoor prison….