Gosport – godsport my a*rse

Where to start? Gosport has two faces, the rather pleasant areas of lee-on-solent and Alverstoke. Then you have the areas surrounding the two ch@v and single mother factories of Brune Park and Bridgemary. They produce generation after generation of scratters, the same people who proudly declare “I love gosport” whilst punching a minority, swigging some […]

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Gosport, Hampshire …more like cesspit Hampsh*te

Living in Gosport, Hampshire

Ah good old Gosport, where the council sits on its backside raking in money from parking meters despite there not being anything in the town worth parking for! The council are [a fine upstanding example of local government, honestly, they’re definitely NOT] dodgy and for some reason in this god forsaken town, they keep voting […]

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Portsmouth: O.M.F.G.

Living in Portsmouth, Hampshire

I’m from a bad estate in a big city and I thought I’d seen it all. Then, one day, I went to Portsmouth. OMFG. Never before in all my years, walking through a city centre in daylight, had I felt intimidated. (Let’s just repeat that fact; it was Saturday afternoon. It was NOT midnight. It […]

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Waterlooville – this place is a sh*thole

Living in Waterlooville, Hampshire

Where to start? Well, this place is dreadful. Its populous hasn’t got 2 chromosomes to rub together. It is full of morons whose life ambition is to either be a crappy builder that throws poor-quality flats together or the builders wife who has at least 3 kids, all with ADHD, who give video-gamers a bad […]

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Waterlooville – Ghost Town

Living in Waterlooville, Hampshire

Waterlooville used to be full of independent shops, everyone happy and a nice community. Now, because of the incredibly high rates down south, all the independents have been forced to **** off and we’re left with a Waitrose, a Sainsbury’s, a Tesco Express, a Lidl, an Asda, a Subway and a McDonalds, not to mention […]

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Why Portsmouth Sucks: A List

Portsmouth, Hampshire, Property guide and review

You may think Portsmouth is a beautiful and historical port with lovely inhabitants. Well let me tell you, nothing could be further from the truth. So here is my definitive list of why Portsmouth sucks: The feral packs of kids the endless bass of the exhausts the no go area that is Guildhall Walk the […]

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