Earlestown: Avoid at All Costs

Is Earlestown a nice place to live
Is Earlestown a nice place to live

Earlestown used to be a town of industry, but these days it’s only industrious in being terrible. Let’s start with the town at first glance. One of the main streets is a pedestrianised shopping area, though it’s unlikely you’ll be doing any shopping there. Most of the businesses that set up shop in Earlestown are around for maybe a few months, then they run out of money and the shop becomes shuttered up again, abandoned and desolate.

The whole place has a desolate feel to it, actually. The streets, the buildings, the people are all filthy and tired looking, as if the town has been forgotten and left to rot.

If you do want to visit some of the ‘nicer’ shops of Earlestown, you’re best making it a morning excursion, because everywhere closes at noon. After twelve o’clock, with nothing to do or see, the streets empty of people and Earlestown really starts to look like a ghost town – like Chernobyl, only worse.

How grim is your Postcode?

Speaking of people [They’re going to punch down instead of up, brace yourself! – Ed], they are the cherry on top of this nightmarish hellhole – the majority of whom are loutish and incompetent. This majority are unemployed and uneducated, and so they sit in their dingy flats and smoke weed which they bought with benefits [Ok boomer! (lol) – Ed]. The police have raided at least three cannabis farms in the last couple of years alone.


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