Hoylake: a level of purgatory dante couldn’t describe

Is Hoylake, Merseyside and nice place to live

If a later day Virgil were to lead Dante through Purgatory he would come upon Hoylake and description would fail them and they would not wish to linger long.
‘Hoylake is nice’, the words uttered by an estate agent is like a diagnosis of dementia, or a slow growing tumour that will ultimately **** you, and it is as ‘nice’ as Dignitas.

Hoylake Nimbies and Posh sports

For the ‘pleasantly confused’ the urban sprawl that leads from the sceptic stench of Meols to Hoylake and West Kirby beyond, this is a ‘home’, literally, as most of the residents seemingly dwell in the innumerable residential, care or nursing homes, or the ‘half way houses’ of retirement flats. This is true blue Tory, Daily Mail/Express locale with all its NIMBY concerns and petty hatreds (‘Restore OUR beach’ ‘No Asylum Seekers’ etc) But this is also the Western shore of the ‘Leisure Peninsular’, golf, rugby, sailing, horse riding we have ALL the posh sports covered in abundance, aren’t we lucky!

Bourgeois avarice & conceit in Hoylake

This is a land of grammar schools, elocution lessons and 11 plus tutors, all serving the paranoid parents of the few non OAP residents who fear that their offspring might have to attend a ‘non Grammar’, but are too financially tight to pay independent school fees, (we warned you that mortgage rates could go up!)
The avarice and conceit of the upper middle glasses is witnessed in any of the non-descript, not particularly interesting and frankly overpriced bars and restaurants. ‘And how much are you getting for renting out your house for the Open Golf? Only £5K?’

How grim is your Postcode?

Hoylake in a nutshell

A dull place for dullards, unsurprisingly Chris Boardman got on his bike and left!