Living in Dover, Kent

Dover – Most neglected unloved town in the UK

The German Army should've levelled Dover back in the 1940's and maybe it wouldn't look like the scrotum of Quasimodo that it does now.

Living in Shirley, Southampton

Southampton: The ex soviet bloc government funded retirement resort

It has now gotten to the point down Shirley high street in Southampton, that there's more Polish/Romanian/Bulgarian/ ex USSR signs than there are charity shops!

Living in Gillingham, Kent

Gillingham: a quaint little sh*tehouse situated on the river Medway

Gillingham people are easy to distinguish from Chatham-ites (where the geezers are half puggy & most of the lardarse ladies are on the game).

Living in Crowhurst, East Sussex

Crowhurst: Why you SHOULDN’T live here

Crowhurst is basically one big field, there is approximately 0 post offices, 0 shops, 0 restaurants, 1 s**tty pub and 0 entertainment.

Living in Fareham, Hampshire

Fareham: if inbreeding was a town.

I've lived in Fareham my whole life, but it wasn't until I was 16 that I realised why there were so many buck-toothed-cross-eyed-chavs.