Chatham: the dog sh*t splattered patio of the Garden of England

Living in Chatham, Kent

Medway actually has a fair bit going for it. The North Downs and the River Medway on its borders, castles, forts, and cathedrals amongst its towns. It’s a testament to the residents commitment to crapness that, despite these draws, Medway remains the dog-**** splattered patio of the Garden of England. For reasons no one can […]

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Sittingbourne, oh the joy

Living in Sittingbourne, Kent

If you are considering moving to Sittingbourne, take my friendly and concise advice, and avoid it like the plague which manifests itself here. The place is a real sh*thole now. Disrespectful cheeky kids that are dragged up by **** parents. I work in the retail park, and the amount of litter that the sh*ttingbourne sh*te […]

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Sheerness: where hopes, dreams and junkies go to die

Living in Sheerness

Sheerness is the end of the line… literally. The end of a small branch line from Sittingbourne to the Isle of Dirt. A sticky-floored tube train that smells of stale piss, Stella Artois, Amber Leaf and misanthropy. If you don’t have a car and you want to get out of the place back to the […]

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Sheerness: industrial eyesore & the ‘crapital’ of the Isle of Sheppey

Sheerness, Kent, Property Guide and Review

I feel it is my duty to inform you all about this town that I can only describe as the festering cat **** in the Garden of England. Sheerness is an industrial eyesore and the majestic ‘crapital’ of the Isle of Sheppey, on the North Kent coast. If you have never heard of Sheerness, that’s […]

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Sittingbourne – a bleak wasteland between the M2 & the Isle of Sheppey

Living in Sittingbourne, Kent

One of my earliest memories is that of a train journey with my mother and grandfather. As the train pulled into Sittingbourne, my grandfather read the sign and growled “hmmmmm….Shittingbourne more like! He then began to sing a song which had the first line “Chaversham and Shittingbourne where all the ******* live”. My mother hushed […]

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