Living in Gillingham, Kent

Gillingham: a quaint little sh*tehouse situated on the river Medway

Gillingham people are easy to distinguish from Chatham-ites (where the geezers are half puggy & most of the lardarse ladies are on the game).

Living in Sheerness

Sheerness: where hopes, dreams and junkies go to die

Sheerness is the end of the line... on a sticky-floored tube train that smells of stale piss, Stella Artois, Amber Leaf and misanthropy.

Living in luton in Chatham

Luton in Chatham is the festering cesspit of Medway

Luton, in Chatham is filthy dirty & without doubt the worst place in Kent. It's got every breed of muggers, rapists, druggies and thieves.

Living in Rochester, Kent

Rochester should forget Dickens. He’s dead & the town should try a new trick

Rochester, where to start, firstly forget Dickens, the locals hang onto that image with every thread in their cheap market clothing.

Living in Hoo, Kent

Hoo, if you smoke weed then there’s one dealer for every 3 people

Lacking a train station or McDonalds, we do have 2 Indian restaurants, both of which are crap and possibly the worst Chinese in the country.