Gosport – godsport my a*rse

Where to start? Gosport has two faces, the rather pleasant areas of lee-on-solent and Alverstoke. Then you have the areas surrounding the two ch@v and single mother factories of Brune Park and Bridgemary. They produce generation after generation of scratters, the same people who proudly declare “I love gosport” whilst punching a minority, swigging some […]

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Plymouth, ingrate central

Plymouth, when people hear this name they instantly think of green and a lighthouse, Unfortunately this is not the case, the city is full of uneducated ingrates who struggle to spell their own name. Meeting someone who was born Plymouth or Cornwall who has an IQ score of more than 60 is a rare pleasure, […]

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Harlow – Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter…

I like to think I’m a fairly hardened sort of person towards ugliness but I was not prepared for Harlow. I spent the early parts of my life in such, shall we say less than aesthetically pleasing, places as Middlesbrough, Bradford, Stoke-on-Trent and pre-gentrification Hackney. About five years, ago, I started a new job in […]

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Plymouth, the toilet of England

When I left a Glasgow 12 years ago, for a fresh start in Plymouth I didn’t think you could get much worse.. Oh how wrong I was. On the edge of the “River Tamar” with Cornwall bordering, famous for pasties and being the only county where you someone can introduce you to their aunt, wife, […]

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Aylesbury: find yourself in a traffic jam

As you enter into Aylesbury, you find yourself in a traffic jam because someone decided to put a bunch of traffic lights and roundabouts everywhere. Don’t worry, it’s all part of the tour. Being stuck in the traffic allows you to observe the magnificent beauty of all the ‘trashy citizens’ that live there. It’s truly […]

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Farnborough: where dreams come to die

Living in Farnborough is like living in purgatory; it’s neither here nor there. ‘The bargain bin of Hampshire’, I’ve overheard. The drab town adequately situates itself between having just enough shops to not **** oneself from boredom and too little homeware stores to purchase items to make killing oneself an actual reality. You’d think a […]

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The sting in the wonder tale of Forest Row in Sussex

There is a village in England that has some pretty astounding features for a village, such as five or six non-chain places where to have a decent cup of coffee, a village hall where a certain film society shows some pretty decent films, like, ‘lo and behold, Werner Herzog and other illuminati. a Rudolf Steiner […]

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Battersea, the ghetto of the 80’s!

I’m amazed that there isn’t an article for this on here yet! Ah Ba-a-sea (as we all called it, a local knows it has 2 t’s in the name but neither are used): the home of my formative years in the 80’s. I’ve not been back here since meeting up with a young lady for […]

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Cheadle, a 1970’s time capsule of inward looking culture-phobes

I wasn’t surprised to see that no one had entered anything about Cheadle on here up until now. The town is quickly becoming a time capsule for the 1970’s, and its inhabitants are among the most inward looking culture-phobes I have ever come across. To a person from this redneck part of England their entire […]

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