If Hot Fuzz was real, Cleobury Mortimer would be it! Where do I start with this strange little town. It’s basically a village on one main road but if the strange locals hear you say that, they’ll come for you with pitchforks and garlic. There’s more cars than people, the high street constantly smells of […]
Ferryhill, a once thriving mining village had (at some point in its history) the longest recorded railway platform in the world! Sadly these days the trains speed up as they pass through… presumably commuters experience something akin to Jurassic Park as they pass by. Only with wasted yokels taking the place of velociraptors. Those few […]
Read More… from Ferryhill: The trains speed up as they pass through
Tongue, what a place. Tongue is set in one of the most picturesque settings in the UK, lovely beaches, small mountains, what could be better. However the problem is the Ins. There are two types of Ins in Tongue the breds and the comers. The breds seem to think they own the place, and resent […]
Read More… from Tongue: Top of Scotland, Bottom of the World
I grew up in Hoddesdon and as a child and teenager it was alright. Close to woodland and countryside, some reasonable pubs, safe town. I moved away for a few years before returning in 2007 and initially was pleased to be returning to the town of my youth. The novelty quickly wore off. It took […]
Ashington used to be a very depressing place. At one time the narrow footpaths between the back to back mining rows were full of dog cr@p and litter, not to mention the permanent smell of urine from drunks who staggered home from the many working men’s clubs that plagued the town. Plucking Banjos When the […]
Read More… from A Depressing Lifetime in Ashington, Northumberland
It has been said that the distant thud of a solitary Royton woman approaching could loosen one’s fillings from over five miles away. Raised on a diet of piping-hot Greggs steak bakes and deep-fried crunchy coated poultry, your typical Royton lass is a sight to be held. Morbidly obese, tattoo-covered, and with teeth like a […]
Legend has it the little village of Dyserth was built on Moel Hiraddug, not because of the quarry that is situated at the top of the tiny mountain, but because they could slope the pavements enough so that the limping from generations of genepool-shallowing would not show. This village runs the gauntlet for the most […]
Knott End & Preesall: where the spirits die of boredom. Believe it or not there are places upon this earth that could only come from the warped imagination of some evil genius James Bond villain type. A dark figure sat in a lounge chair, cackling with glee whilst stroking a cat, conjuring up their latest […]
Newcastle Upon Tyne, a quaint city boasting lots of architectural features from which you can hurl yourself off when life in this grey hued eugenics tribute act gets to much [although we at iLiveHere would never advocate this or to use the native language “y’divit wanna dee that pet” and yes, that’s our legal backside […]
So you wish to give up on life and can’t afford the one way trip to Switzerland? You wish to go for the slow option, terminal decline along the Helter-Skelter to absolute oblivion? But how do you carry out the ‘slow’ option, a lingering, gradual death? Well there is one place that captures death in […]
Read More… from Blackpool: Through the Brown Eye of the 5th horseman and out to Dante’s cesspit
If you are thinking of moving here to live by the sea in Devon while working in a job under £30’000 a year?? Then don’t! What you’ll get is either a victorian slum that’s overpriced, or a nice apartment in a block full of holiday homes. And believe me, Karen’s will constantly belittle you for […]
Ahh good old Crawley… where to start? Let me start with the sh*thole county mall: the type of mall that not only favours fake mobile phone shops and cheap crappy clothing. It also favours ***** that desire ruining your shopping day by calling you a **** or a f*ggot. This mall is so bad for […]
Read More… from Crappy Crawley – depressing hole of the south
