A Depressing Lifetime in Ashington, Northumberland

Living in Ashington, Northumberland

Ashington used to be a very depressing place. At one time the narrow footpaths between the back to back mining rows were full of dog cr@p and litter, not to mention the permanent smell of urine from drunks who staggered home from the many working men’s clubs that plagued the town. Plucking Banjos When the […]

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Seahouses: they only let you see what they want you to see

Living in Seahouses, Northumberland

Oh dear, Seahouses is a quite a village! You would never expect that such a small village could have such a shallow gene pool! Everyone talks about how beautiful it is, the coast, the sea, but no one is telling you of the horror! People in white vans try to challenging anyone on a race, […]

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Amble: the population of 6,022 is now almost entirely related

Living in Amble, Northumberland

In the 1930s, when the RMS Mauretania was heading up the East Coast of Britain on her last voyage to the breaker’s yard at Rosyth, the town council of Amble sent a telegram to the ship saying “still the finest ship on the seas”. The Mauretania replied with greetings “to the last and kindliest port […]

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Morpeth: Is it really as posh as the posters make it look? No!

Living in Morpeth

Morpeth. Is this town really as posh as the posters make it look? The answer is no. Morpeth is a horrible place to live. By day the town centre is full of stuck up posh twats. But by night it’s full of drunks that walk up and down the high street just looking for a […]

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Ashington is now a necrotic ulcer on the nether regions of the North East

Living in Ashington, Northumberland

Ashington lies just off the northeast coast of England and was once a place where grown men tunnelled in search of coal. Not anymore. Ashington is now a necrotic ulcer on the nether regions of the North East. It is a place where being ‘hard’ is admired and violence is a mark of a man’s […]

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Wooler: in the morning it’s a lovely rural town, by midday it changes

Living in Wooler, Northumberland

In the morning this is a lovely rural town, old people go out and do their thing. Between midday and the afternoon they start to disappear, one by one. And I understand why… by the late afternoon ***** start crawling out of every house and every corner. ***** all ages, from 12 all the way […]

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The sad decline of The North

The sad decline of The North

It angers and saddens me a great deal to read the many obituries of once proud working and mining towns like Barnsley, Rotherham, Sheffield, Middlesbrough, Sunderland etc on this site. These were all places I was familiar with as a very young man back in the late 1970s and places I loved to visit and […]

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Newbiggin-By-The-Sea full of mullet, snapback, tracky bottom wearing idiots

Living in Newbiggin by the Sea, Northumberland

Newbiggin-By-The-Sea, where do i start? Newbiggin is a small fishing village in Northumberland North East, crawling with dressing gown wearing teenage mums, underage smokers and drinkers, and loud rowdy locals! This town is by far, one of the worst places to be in the whole of Northumberland. Its streets are filled with mullet, snapback, nike, […]

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Ashington is by far the ********* town in Northumberland

Living in Ashington

Ashington is by far the ********* town in Northumberland, every other car you see on the road is either a Vauxhall (the *****’ and thicko’s vehicle of choice) or a Motability car of some kind (Usually either an Astra, Meriva, Zafira or a C4 Picasso), the ageing ***** vehicle of choice.  In the ten years […]

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Blyth: ner’do’well capital of Northumberland….. with a KFC

Its been nearly a year since the original post, so i guess i best tell you the state of ‘things’. Stopress….Employment prospects doubled over night for the ****/*********, yes indeed a KFC opened up!Looks like most of the employees are local too, mind you it is hard to decide if all that cooking in oil […]

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Blyth, (Near Newcastle), Northumberland.

Ah, Blyth. Situated 15 miles north of Newcastle, along the coast, it has stunning coastline scenery, and a view of the Cheviots and Scottish border to the North West. But that is where the romance of this town stops……… This town is the **** capital of Northumberland. The sad thing is, i reckon most of the […]

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