Oh dear, Seahouses is a quite a village! You would never expect that such a small village could have such a shallow gene pool! Everyone talks about how beautiful it is, the coast, the sea, but no one is telling you of the horror!
People in white vans try to challenging anyone on a race, friends sharing their wives, a tourist attraction for people from Manchester and Hartlepool (and you know what that means!!!!!)
I was once myself challenged to a race by a dirty faced ginger, whom even waved at me with his long nails hand(the horror). Everyone is related somehow, which means they all hate each other, SERIOUSLY.
No community spirit, everyone talks behind everyone’s back. You’ve got the super posh one and the one with a conviction thinking that the own the place. No one stands up for truth of justice, they just prefer to moan! Some of them are so deeply ******* that they even look like each other!
So, don’t let the ‘beautiful Northumberland coast’ catch you off guard, it is not a town, but a ner-do-well village indeed. You been warned.
Morpeth: Is it really as posh as the posters make it look? No!
Newbiggin-By-The-Sea full of mullet, snapback, tracky bottom wearing idiots
Seahouses: they hide the ****** so you see what they want you to see
Blyth, still the **** capital of Northumberland…..but now with a KFC
Amble: the population of 6,022 is now almost entirely related
Wooler: in the morning it’s a lovely rural town, by midday it changes
Ashington is now a necrotic ulcer on the nether regions of the North East
Ashington is by far the ********* town in Northumberland