Newcastle, just don’t

Living in Newcastle, Tyne and Wear

Hailed as a cultural mecca by the [allegedly] corrupt city Council, the toon (Newcastle) is not somewhere a sentient being would go to make a pilgrimage. The culture largely consists of some big buildings covered in pigeon ****. Yes, there are universities, but the only locals they contain are cleaning the toilets. Meet the Locals […]

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Tynemouth – Pearly White False Teeth Mouth of the Tyne

Living in Tynemouth, Tyne and Wear

If you manage to get through North Shields alive, or bear the brunt of the perpetual traffic jam of the A1058 ‘coast road’, you might make it to Tynemouth, but it’s probably not worth risking either route unless you; Surf badly Are over the age of 50 Like rubbish castles Tynemouth is full of rubbish […]

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North Shields – Shield yourself at all costs

Living in North Shields, Tyne and Wear

Ah, North Shields. Truly a bastion of the North. A magnificent representation of our wonderful cultural values – alcoholism, drugs and screaming at your children like it’s an episode of Jeremy Kyle outside of the Metro station, while your husband is off purveying the cheap lager at the local offy. Residents despise their life In […]

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The Hell That Is Sunderland

Living in Sunderland, Tyne and Wear

I have to tell you of the Hell I witnessed called Sunderland. I was drawn there by an online romance. To get to my girlfriends house I had to drive through a salubrious little hamlet called PENNYWELL. I have seen a woman on the street in a dressing gown screaming obscenities at a man covered […]

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The sad decline of The North

The sad decline of The North

It angers and saddens me a great deal to read the many obituries of once proud working and mining towns like Barnsley, Rotherham, Sheffield, Middlesbrough, Sunderland etc on this site. These were all places I was familiar with as a very young man back in the late 1970s and places I loved to visit and […]

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The Boldons make you want to chuck yourself in front of the No. 9 bus

Living in Boldon, Tyne and Wear

You’d think having between 10-20 pubs from one metro too the other, an abundance of corner shops and hair dressers, Asda, McDonalds, Frankie and Bennies, Pizza Hut, Nandos that attracts so many **** boys it just not fair, Cineworld that brings the rest of south Tyneside too you. Which you just can not be arsed […]

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The main industry in South Shields is shoplifting

Roughest areas in South Shields

South Shields has a housing stock that is crumbling from the outside in. Hence it is hard to understand why the town is called “affluent” by Wickipedia. The main industry in South Shields is shoplifting; other than that there is no noticeable means of making a living, since there is no industry and few offices. […]

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Hedworth or ‘Badwaff’ as the Jarrow locals call it

Living in Hedworth, Jarrow

Ahh badwaff, since the age of 1 I have lived in the neighbouring estate Fellgate, which is the ying to hedworths yang. With the Berlin wall like, River Dean separating the 2 estates, it was always a relief to see the orange glow by the riverside of the burning vauxhall astra and being thankful that […]

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Jarrow, I know it’s a place to avoid, but seriously? No page?

Right, where to begin… Jarrow is a delightful little hole next to Hebburn (another one), Gateshead (another one), Simonside (another one) and South Shields (Has charvs, generally leave you alone.) It is impossible to determine the exact population of this cess pit as the rate of population growth is so great. We can only hope […]

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Newcastle, geordies mock Sunderland, it’s just as bad!

Living in or moving to Newcastle Upon Tyne

A lot of people say newcastle is “the best city” in Northern England, a city of “culture” and “nightlife” and most geordies like to mock the nearby city of sunderland as a **** filled ********. What they feel to relise is that Newcastle and the tyneside region is no different, if not worse. In the […]

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Sunderland (Why, God? Why!?!)

Living in Sunderland

Where do we even start? * Fact: Sunderland was voted the 3rd crappest city/town in Britain. * Fact: The population of Sunderland, 283,090 (And growing thanks to the many pregnant *********), I would say about 80% are *****. * Fact: Our crime is poor too, sexual offences, violent crime and theft are all on the […]

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