Living in Bolton, Greater Manchester

Bolton… beyond the term “dreadful”

I've never encountered so many fat, ugly, dishevelled people nor persons exhibiting signs of mental illness in such concentrations as Bolton.

Living in Bury, Greater Manchester

Bury: a difficult place to like

Bury has its own perfume - Eau de Weed

Living in Sholver, Oldham

Sholver, Oldham’s anus

Sholver, one windswept winter's night I found myself alone, cold and afraid on the streets of this shit smeared overspill.

Living in Rishton, Lancashire

Rishton: The Absolute low of Great Britain

If you can survive in Rishton then you are undoubtedly better than Bear Grylls.

Living in Longtown, Cumbria

Oh Longtown… You suck!

Longtown has a long history, especially with it being on the border of England and Scotland. Although ask many of the locals who were educated from the 80s onwards and they couldn't tell you any of it.