Blyth: ner’do’well capital of Northumberland….. with a KFC

Its been nearly a year since the original post, so i guess i best tell you the state of ‘things’.

Stopress….Employment prospects doubled over night for the ****/*********, yes indeed a KFC opened up!Looks like most of the employees are local too, mind you it is hard to decide if all that cooking in oil has made their skin/hair that way, or it is most likely some Blyth genetic factor.

Stopress…..New businesses attracted to Blyth….Yes the Council built all these lovely new units near the KFC and new businesses are there. Naturally, you would think great, prospects for *****….but all that seems to be there is 3/4 shops selling carpets!!WTF!!!

The focal point of the *****, (the market place), is bring re-laid and out of bounds, (its ok Greggs is still there..phew). For now the ***** are having to hang around the ‘shopping’ centre. Why the square is being re-laid is beyond me!The market has been failing for years, so another wise spend by the council!

For the *****, the council has an office for housing next to the bus station within the ‘shopping’ centre. This is great because there is some discount sports shop opposite! The housing place is worth a visit to see an unmarried xxxoverweight mother of six, demanding a bigger house for her ferral fatherless offspring. It seems as in the last year the older *****/********* has actually increased in number…its not as if anyone would actually want to move to this hell hole, it is just puzzling to see more.

There is still nothing to do for them. The ‘youth club’ called ‘slix’ or something ‘trendy’, has more of these ‘people’ OUTSIDE’ causing havoc then ‘INSIDE’. Apparantly you can get advice on contraception…the expression ‘horse and bolted’ comes to mind! Nothing changes still lots of drugs, depression and unplanned pregnancies. The older ones still drink in the pubs. The local rag is still full of fights and ASBO’s.

Whilst in one of these licensed establishments, i noticed that the lasses aged 17/18, seem to dress more mature then their over suntanned/alcoholic Mothers!Trying to hold a converstation is difficult with these, unless of course you watch usual **** TV..i.e. Big brother, Dance on Ice etc. Also, a friend and i concluded that on that day was a TV report stating that in Tyneside prostitution was a problem, but in Northumberland it was not. Well of course, all you need to do here is buy a bottle of reef and a bag of chips and its yours, why pay for it!

Well, a year on and its still the same, but thing maybe looking up for Blyth and its *****/*********. The Leader of the council wants to bring ‘the riveria’ to Blyth, and have about 20 beach hunts, which will attract tourists, (what exactly is there is Blyth to see!?!) I kid you not the guy is serious too. Well just how long until these are burnt down or the ***** have broke in and are using it as a shoot up joint or a place for shag*ing some ******** is current debate!

Come to Blyth……..Still the **** captial of Northumberland…..but now with a KFC and soon to be beach huts!

Search acu591317 on the Temu app for a 30% off discount!