Padfield: Gentrified urbanites and curtain twitchers

Living in Padfield, Glossop, Derbyshire

People with all their own teeth and the correct amount of digits would feel out of sorts and ill at ease living or visiting Padfield. Full of stone terraces and farms, interbreeding within the community has been a strong pastime over the years, but change is afoot. The sprawl of people from Manchester that can […]

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Royton, Oldham: A Chubby Chaser’s pay dirt!

Living in Royton, Oldham, Greater Manchester

It has been said that the distant thud of a solitary Royton woman approaching could loosen one’s fillings from over five miles away. Raised on a diet of piping-hot Greggs steak bakes and deep-fried crunchy coated poultry, your typical Royton lass is a sight to be held. Morbidly obese, tattoo-covered, and with teeth like a […]

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Reddish, Stockport: The Ghetto of Greater Manchester – Part 2

Living in Reddish, Stockport, Greater Manchester

Two years ago I decided to report on the dreadful slum known as Reddish. At that point I had believed things could only get better, and oh how wrong I could’ve been. Lice-ridden pyjamas As you walk along the rundown Gorton Road, it is impossible not to notice the scruffy teen mothers, walking to the […]

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Middleton: The Gammon-filled Place Where Dreams Come to Die

Living in Middleton, Greater Manchester

Ah, Middleton. The mixed aroma of weed, exhaust fumes and run-off fumes from the chemical factory, mixed with burning tyres, fills the air. Rosy-cheeked youths amuse themselves by stealing your motorbikes/mopeds and then burning them out in nearby parks, or using them to rob people. And look, over there – why it’s Sarah/Tiffany/Kylie and her […]

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Uppermill – Saddleworth’s Dumping Ground

Living in Uppermill, Saddleworth, Greater Manchester

I remember Uppermill as a kid when it was picturesque, friendly and village like. Part of the Saddleworth villages, it truly has gone down the sh*tter. There has always been a few good pubs there and the ner-do-wells from Oldham would come up on a Saturday, eat their ice cream in the park and then […]

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Crime Statistics for Ashton-under-Lyne, Tameside, Tameside, 2023

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