Northampton, also known as ‘Nofuntown’

Living in Northampton, Northamptonshire

If you are talking Northampton you are talking Abington Street to begin your visit, the once thriving and traditional main shopping thoroughfare having its teeth punched out, gaps filled with the perfunctory charity shops, pawn brokers, fast food restaurants and mobile phone repair shops (why is it only Afghans that work in those?) or simply […]

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Northampton: dangerous at night, unpleasant during the day

Living in Northampton

Northampton was apparently once a magnificent market town. But for as long as I lived there, there was nothing magnificent about it. I grew up in Duston, a village 3 miles away from the town centre. Between the stench of sewage, huge **** families lounging around on their front lawns with cans of cheap lager […]

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Northampton – where apathy rules OK

Living in Northampton

What can usefully be said about a town whose main claims to fame, as revealed by the briefest and most cursory of internet searches, appear to be a man who drives around the town centre blasting the decades-old Tony Christie hit ‘Is This the Way to Amarillo’ on his car stereo, an elderly woman with […]

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Northampton, a turdhole too far

Living in Northampton

Northampton, once a beautiful little market town, now a turdhole, overflowing with the vilest human filth. When did this transformation begin? In my lifetime, at the end of the 1960s, when the gormless c*nts at the borough council decided to demolish anything of historical beauty and quaintness. They ripped out what was left of the […]

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Northampton: come one, come all and suck us dry

Living in Northampton

Northampton is a shining example of rapid post war expansion gone wrong. I’m certain the planners of the day were doing their best but it seems like the ‘ton was a Friday afternoon rush job. after spraying the town centre with concrete they then saw fit to build a shanty town encircling the main arena. […]

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Northampton, degenerating from once proud centre of middle England

Living in Northampton

A Town degenerating from once proud centre of middle England to **** torment. Where to start… For starters, back in the 1970’s/80’s when I was growing up, there was not one modified 15 year old car in sight. Just your crappy cars of dubious build quality that broke down after 1000 miles and had to […]

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Northampton, observe our loverly wide range of *****

Living in Northampton

If you ever find yourself in Northampton (which i hope for your sake you don’t)… please take the time to observe our loverly wide range of *****. They can be found in the loverly Kings Heath. Now please take my advice never walk through this place and if your driving don’t be on your own! […]

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Northampton: characterless & overflowing with nobs & Eastern Europeans

Living in Northampton, Northamptonshire

Poor old Nobhampton! When I was growing up in the late seventies, it was believe it or not, quite an interesting town to live in, it had a healthy punk scene, loads of gigs, good record and clothes shops etc. Don’t get me wrong, the toned-down **** equivalent existed even then, we called them ‘Yampi’s’ […]

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