Living in Bury, Greater Manchester

Bury: a difficult place to like

Bury has its own perfume - Eau de Weed

Living in Sholver, Oldham

Sholver, Oldham’s anus

Sholver, one windswept winter's night I found myself alone, cold and afraid on the streets of this shit smeared overspill.

Living in Longtown, Cumbria

Oh Longtown… You suck!

Longtown has a long history, especially with it being on the border of England and Scotland. Although ask many of the locals who were educated from the 80s onwards and they couldn't tell you any of it.

Living in Nantwich, Cheshire

Nantwich: home of the yummy mummy & a sea of middle class insolence

The Nantwich yummy mummy battle tank, the Land Rover discovery, can be seen badly parked in parent and child bays across the town.

Living in Southport, Merseyside

Southport – God’s waiting room

I've lived here in Southport all my life and to be honest it was better back in the 1970's than it is now.