Living in Bury, Greater Manchester

Bury: a difficult place to like

Bury has its own perfume - Eau de Weed

Living in Sholver, Oldham

Sholver, Oldham’s anus

Sholver, one windswept winter's night I found myself alone, cold and afraid on the streets of this shit smeared overspill.

Living in Shaw, Greater Manchester

Shaw: The Place That Joy Forgot

All in all, Shaw is a sh*thole, and thank god I'm leaving for good. If you like being a tw@t, it could be the place for you

Living in Failsworth, Greater Manchester

Failsworth: a town of hard working individuals & lazy inbred pond life

KFC/Tesco Car parks have become a homing beacon for Failsworth's chavy offspring to congregate around when they are not at the Metro Stop.

Living in Sholver & Moorside, Oldham

Sholver, think of it as a giant category C prison built on a hill side

Sholver & Moorside: the views are good... to all the other parts of Greater Manchester where everyone would rather be.