Living in Ashton under Lyne, Greater Manchester

Ashton under lyne, into the mouth of madness and straight out of the other end

With more than a touch of skank about it, here's some handy tips for Ashton.

Living in Saddleworth, Greater Manchester

Saddleworth is not Yorkshire and you’re not Alan Sugar

Saddleworthians are easily spotted, they have fake accents, no wit and a false sense of superiority.

Living in Swinton, Greater Manchester

Swinton is a sewer, I moved here from Macclesfield, big mistake!

As I walked around Swinton, I noticed the people looked like extras from The Walking Dead.

Living in Sholver, Oldham

Sholver, Oldham’s anus

Sholver, one windswept winter's night I found myself alone, cold and afraid on the streets of this shit smeared overspill.

Living in Shaw, Greater Manchester

Shaw: The Place That Joy Forgot

All in all, Shaw is a sh*thole, and thank god I'm leaving for good. If you like being a tw@t, it could be the place for you