Ashton under lyne, into the mouth of madness and straight out of the other end
With more than a touch of skank about it, here's some handy tips for Ashton.
Saddleworth is not Yorkshire and you’re not Alan Sugar
Saddleworthians are easily spotted, they have fake accents, no wit and a false sense of superiority.
Swinton is a sewer, I moved here from Macclesfield, big mistake!
As I walked around Swinton, I noticed the people looked like extras from The Walking Dead.
Sholver, Oldham’s anus
Sholver, one windswept winter's night I found myself alone, cold and afraid on the streets of this shit smeared overspill.
Shaw: The Place That Joy Forgot
All in all, Shaw is a sh*thole, and thank god I'm leaving for good. If you like being a tw@t, it could be the place for you