With more than a touch of skank about it, here's some handy tips for Ashton.
Saddleworthians are easily spotted, they have fake accents, no wit and a false sense of superiority.
As I walked around Swinton, I noticed the people looked like extras from The Walking Dead.
Sholver, one windswept winter's night I found myself alone, cold and afraid on the streets of this shit smeared overspill.
All in all, Shaw is a sh*thole, and thank god I'm leaving for good. If you like being a tw@t, it could be the place for you