Southport – God’s waiting room

I’ve lived here in Southport all my life and to be honest it was better back in the 1970’s than it is now, and I’m only 46. It was great during the 80’s. Loads to do, lots of places to visit but in the last 15 or so years it’s gone downhill faster than Franz Klammer on an Alpine ski slope. Shops coming and going, houses being demolished that had been there an eternity that you got used to seeing every day.

Nowadays it’s like one of those nuclear holocaust movies where you daren’t go out after dark because of all the feral **** that won’t come out during the day. You don’t go into the town centre at night for fear of being mugged, stabbed or even murdered where you stand.

The bus service is okay but you have to go out really early to avoid the coffin dodgers whose bus passes start at 9.30am ,then it’s a free for all with zimmer frames and those little horrible basket things on wheels that if you’re unfortunate enough to be coming home on the bus with, they’ll run over your feet with them and fail to even apologise.

Notable places and my nicknames for them in brackets, High Park (Demon’s Run) I only go here if I can’t get what I want elsewhere, bus services are limited as only 2 routes operate here.

Ainsdale (Tatooine) It’s up near the beach but has a little village which now is mostly cafes and wine bars, most of the really good shops have gone now. Not as good as it was in the 80s.

Carr Lane Rec (Trenzalore) This is a place you only go to at 6am in the morning if you are walking your dog, you do not under any circumstances go there after 4pm as a lot of the feral **** operate from there.

Bedford Park – I used to go here a lot in the old days but it’s rife with drug taking, violence and the odd occasional Sunday league football match.

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