Living in Cinderford

Cinderford: There is a tenth circle of hell

Cinderford is a decrepit town in the arse end of Gloucestershire, with a population resembling Sauron’s army of orcs from Lord of the Rings.

Living in Newent, Gloucestershire

Newent, a million shades of grey

If you do visit Newent, the Gloucestershire branch of God’s waiting room, just make sure you don’t take your grandparents with you.

Living in Gloucester

Gloucester – What a shame

Gloucester, once proud cathedral city leading to the Cotswolds is now a crime ridden concrete hell-hole, festering with chavs and criminals.

Living in Salisbury

Salisbury… Dear God, what a boring, depressing dump!

The locals have a phrase they use, "Wiltshire born Wiltshire bred, strong in the arm thick in the head". Nothing but nothing is more true.

Living in Coleford, Gloucestershire

Coleford: The anus of the Forest of Dean

Everyone in Coleford is related. Brothers marry sisters, uncles marry nieces. There's even a chap named Dave who married his pet sheep!