Oh dear Gloucester, what happened to you? A once proud cathedral city leading to the Cotswolds is now a crime ridden concrete hell-hole, festering with c***s, homeless and criminals.
The city centre could be worse, the cathedral is impressive and there are some nice old Tudor houses and quaint little shops etc.
But that’s as far as the positives go.
Let me paint a picture for you: step outside the confines of the city centre in any direction and you will be faced with a different problem. One option is to head towards the bus stops where you will find some of the ugliest architecture outside of the former soviet republic. The run down shops include a cash converters AND a cash generators for the legions of petty thieves to offload their stolen items.
Head further along this area until you reach the infamous Barton road, Britain’s most ‘multi-cultural’ street according to some. Here you will find a bizarre cross between Kabul and Warsaw, where the local Bangladeshi population and the local Eastern European population are embroiled in a battle to see who can have the most welfare dependant babies.
Head in the other direction towards the docks and you may well find yourself being shat upon by the trillions of seagulls that feed off the dried up kebab meat on the pavement. The docks are somewhat of a local landmark in Gloucester, chiefly due to the fact that they contain the only buildings in the city that don’t resemble Stalingrad circa 1943.
Then there’s the hospital. Holy s**t there’s a f*****g eyesore if ever there was one. The greyest and most aesthetically un-pleasing structure you will ever set your eyes upon. One could be forgiven for thinking it was designed by the same person who built the infamous banlieues of Paris.
The city is served by a range of haute cuisine establishments, including several McDonald’s, 2 KFC’s, a Burger King and of course for those who are feeling adventurous, Greggs, where some of the hairiest women you will ever meet are happy to serve you with a yellow, crooked smile (although I suppose it’s hard not to smile when you’re off you’re tits on speed).
If you plan to go to Gloucester for the day do yourself a favour, drive past it (hold your breath and close your eyes whilst doing so) and carry on for an extra 10 minutes up the road to Cheltenham. You will be shocked how two such different towns can be so close to each other.