Living in Churchdown, Gloucestershire

Churchdown – a final resting place

Churchdown is an outer-city housing estate nestling between incontinence and insanity that is home to a grey tsunami of geriatrics.

Living in Kingswood, Bristol

Kingswood, Bristol: Sounds like a great place to live, isn’t!

Buses are the only reason why Kingswood survives. People buy food when passing through, just to get to bath or a neighbouring county.

Living in Cinderford, Gloucestershire

I watched Deliverance the other day, it made me think of Cinderford

Cinderford: If you want to experience authentic rustic English charm at its very finest, go elsewhere.

Living in Lydney, Gloucestershire

Lydney: The ugly little brother of Coleford

The dialect of the Lydney folk is difficult to understand and impossible to master. Decades of inbreeding has now altered their vocal chords to the point of mutation.

Living in Cinderford

Cinderford: There is a tenth circle of hell

Cinderford is a decrepit town in the arse end of Gloucestershire, with a population resembling Sauron’s army of orcs from Lord of the Rings.