Hedworth (Badwaff), Jarrow

Living in Hedworth, Jarrow
Living in Hedworth, Jarrow

Hedworth (Badwaff), Jarrow

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Ahh badwaff, since the age of 1 I have lived in the neighbouring estate Fellgate, which is the ying to hedworths yang. With the Berlin wall like, rat infested (and I mean infested) river dean separating the 2 estates, it was always a relief to see the orange glow by the riverside of the burning vauxhall astra and being thankful that this week it wasn’t you. When it comes to burning things in badwaff (which by the way is the name the local charvers have assigned it, which you can see drawn in to the concrete and metro platform(which is actually in Fellgate)) bonfire night is always cracking. Fires as far as the eye can see and fireworks shooting up and down the street into car windows, nearby children and remains of already smashed glass bus shelters. Fire engines circling the estate not touching the surrounding bonfires that pop up every 20ft upon fear of getting glassed by c***s hyped up on fumes.

To be fair to badwaff, the generation before them were the worst, the ones you feared to look in the eye in case they teleported directly toward you like endermen and began bumming and glassing you simultaneously. No no, this generation are much tamer. They still have the same cocky expressions on their face and the same ama-f**k-u-raight-up-son look in their eyes but are in fact completely harmless. They do still however go at it like bunnies on a regular basis and still claim their extra dole for every new sprog that pops out of them.

The one ray of light in hedworth though has got to be the chippy. Every so often I will venture off into the depths of badwaff for a kebab or pizza which to this day is always my favourite guilty pleasure. Pizzas so greasy you can actually ring it out and fill a pint glass (no joke, try it), chips soft on the inside and crispy on the outside like they should be and kebab that doesn’t have you spewing your guts up as soon, as you take a whiff.

Other attractions in badwaffs nightlife include the famous club Murrays which has stood there for as long as I can remember, holding all sorts of events and mostly birthday parties for 12 year olds first pint and shag. A prime c**v hang out spot other than fine foods where the local mini c***s like to pelt digestive biscuits off of cars and passersby. You do however come across some polite c***s every now and then. I can remember one of them asking rather politely for my “dustys”  on my bike and then half an hour later finding him beating up a stranger in the street while waving rather friendly at me.

Yes they are a bizarre lot. But with a school such as hedworthfield primary where most of the children there are smarter than the teachers (Admin: *allegedly* before I get a snotty email from the headmaster), up until the point where the teachers start their attempt at teaching and any ray of hope for a child with an IQ above retarded is shattered. From teachers *allegedly* faking cancer and scamming from school to school (seriously Google it, I was to young at the time to understand why our teacher vanished) to teachers breaking up marriages and having affairs with the parents, it’s no wonder the population of badwaff turn out the way they do.

I could go on and on but unlike most badwaffiens (someone who lives in Hedworth) I actually have a job so I may come back to it next lunch break. Hope you enjoyed my views on one of Jarrow’s scummier s**m holes

Ta ta

By: anth


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