Where do we even start?
* Fact: Sunderland was voted the 3rd crappest city/town in Britain.
* Fact: The population of Sunderland, 283,090 (And growing thanks to the many pregnant chavettes), I would say about 80% are chavs.
* Fact: Our crime is poor too, sexual offences, violent crime and theft are all on the up and are higher than the national average. (I’ve seen policemen on pedal bikes chasing chavs in stolen cars. You might not believe it but I really have seen it!)
So, there are three things you might not have known about “sunny” Sunderland, but what about other things:
Nightlife? – Well, some famous places that chavs go rave, shag and beat people up are “The New Monkey”, “Annabels” and “Lush”. These places at night time are crawling with scum. Chavs all looking to find a spare fag and a fight, while, Chavettes all shouting “he’s not worth it” at their brothers/boyfriends (I don’t know!)
Food? – There is a variety of restaurants, which provide employment for chavs, the less skilled among them all and students (they aren’t all thick!) They range from McDonalds to Burger King and from KFC to Greggs, yes, we have ’em all!
Housing? – Sunderland is infamous for their housing estates, like Hendon and the East End, which is where only some of the murders are seen. Estates like Plains Farm, Ryhope and Thorney Close would be a welcome surprise when visiting Sunderland, but, there is an estate that takes the cake when it looks like s**t: Pennywell! Its modern day Bosnia, only with worse crime and poorer schools! Ooo and Marley Potts is a stunner too.
Shopping? – With the brand new Bridges open there’s loads for chavs to buy. Poundland, always could for a chav to buy a pack of permanent markers to sniff at.
Argos, for the ‘Little Miss Chav’
Sports Direct, for the tracky bottoms and Le Coq Sportif hoodies
New Look, for the middle class slag.
FCUK, well, it might be an FCUK shop or just a knock-off shop, I can’t really tell.
Crowtree Leisure Centre, mini chavs trying to swim(or going for a wash) always good for a laugh.
There are Ca$h Converters too and even a cinema, where fart spray is always the fresh fragrance when you enter.
(And finally) Transport – Sunderland has gone through a revolution when it comes to transport, we’ve got the Metro system which runs many a person from Sunderland to our friends in Tyneside and Newcastle (squashing up everyone into sardines in a tin!) but recent reports show chavs a using this place for a Happyslap or two, our local paper (The Sunderland Echo) gave us an insight into what chavs do, eg Shag and set old peoples hair on fire, chavs are apparently going to be band from using the system, ha, that’ll be the day! With our revolution complete with the transport industry in Sunderland all I can say is the Parklane Interchange, bosses said that they play classical music in order drive away the masses of chavs, has it worked? Has it hell!
And on that note, I’ll leave you with my hopes and wishes on that you’ll never visit Sunderland as long as you live.