Maidstone – The biggest moving mistake of my life

I have lived in Maidstone for exactly 14 months. I moved here with my wife and young son in 2019. The idea behind it was simple, we lived in Greater London and wanted to have a 2 bedroom house.

We have no close family so a move this way wasn’t something we assumed would be an issue. So I visited Rightmove and they have a little app to show you the areas you could afford. The options were Essex or Kent. No offence to people from Essex but you are too alien to me so we chose Kent.

We viewed a few places but everything seemed to draw us back to Maidstone, it seemed well situated for my work, close to the cost and train line seemed fine (though it was not for my commute). So we set about visiting here a few times, the town centre seemed fine.

The thing that struck us immediately was how many white people there were, coming from London it was very strange. We sold our flat and settled on a house purchase just south of the town centre. We moved in and everything seemed fine until we met our neighbours.

Little did we know what the people of Maidstone are like. Now I am only speaking as to my dealings but honestly in 14 months I’ve not met a decent person. There is something incredibly strange about people from here, they seem to lack any social norms or any personality.

The only thing Maidstonians, it would appear, know how to deal with anything is aggression. THEY ARE SO ANGRY.I was honestly shocked, we had estates in London but people from there are avoided however Maidstone people are simply people who are on benefits but without the benefits. Abusive, angry, emotionally ret4rded, socially ret4rded, moronic, idiotic and psychotic.

In my 14 months of being here I would say someone has tried to start a fight with me due to a road incident maybe 10-15 times. The abuse you receive from beeping a horn is what I liken to someone who has been able to act whatever way they want their entire life and then have to integrate unwillingly.

Just a side note about the drivers here, appalling. They cannot park, they cannot drive, I would love to see them cope with Hyde Park rush hour traffic .The one thing the area seems to lack is the plague of London, Uber, Uber eats and Mopeds. They are very discreet here and are not a problem. However the area is full of 600cc motorbikes with loud exhausts .

Onto traffic etc, the buses are a joke, in London you wait 10-15 mins for a bus here it’s 45 mins. There is no app to check when next bus is due, nor is Uber here to pick you up.

Back to my neighbours…

The females of Maidstone are similar to Essex people but with no class. The young girls dress like ***********. They all drive either Pickup trucks or brand new Mercedes in white, despite the fact they have no idea;

  1. how to drive
  2. how a car works
  3. that anyone else matters

They all appear to be single mums, living on the welfare, Botox and lip fillers, clothing from a cross between Primark and Hollister. They either have bleach blonde hair or jet black died. Their skin is wrinkled as they seem incapable of knowing what lotion is, when they go on holiday to Benedorm.

The accent is ****, the sound of people here makes me sick, it’s just so common, think a cross between cockney and Essex. It’s like all the trash outcasts from Essex came here. The property prices are cheap I will give you that, but there is a reason for it, if you want to see **** go to Ashford or Hastings, that is the epitome of Kent life.

The men here are either builders or bricklayers or roofers. There does not appear to be any other trade they do. They are all generic and “self employed ” which is code for I don’t declare my income fully.

There is a nice town centre but stand there for 5 minutes and look at the type of people to come past you and you will realise it’s a dive. You can polish a 7urd all you want but doesn’t change the fact this place is a dump.

The people of Maidstone simply have no standards to abide by, so they go around doing what they want when they want, there is no police presence anywhere just sirens of Ambulances probably going to some drunk in the street as this place is chock full of them.

There are some shops which in London would be cool:


but the rest of the shops are just generic, I used to love to go to HMV and browse but even here it gives me no pleasure.

I absolutely hate this place and cannot wait to sell and get out after this Covid19 is over. PLEASE if you are considering this location DO NOT COME HERE. If you are a LONDONER you will detest this place

My plan was for my child to grow up here, but no way in hell is that happening, even if I have to put myself in debt for the rest of my life I will leave here and if I see a map I will use black marker to cross this place out.

Here is my one final quiz to see if you are the kind of person to live here:

1. Do you give way to people or hold the door open for them?
If you answered yes do not come here

2. Do you have respect for other humans?
Yes do not come here

3. Do you like having things to do and go on your day off?
Yes? Don’t come here, it’s a dive, KENT LIFE farm looked lovely in photos but it’s another sh*thole [allegedly]

4. Do you drive a small car?
Yes you won’t fit in here as everyone looks like Katie Price and drives at 45 mph everywhere.

5. Do you like quiet neighbours?
With 99% of people here being **** you have a 1% chance of a happy life

[We at iLiveHere towers would like the thank the contributor for this article. We know Maidstone well and that is a pretty accurate assessment of our favourite ‘ring round around a prison’. It maybe Kent’s county town, but it’s a condensed version of the worst of estuarine culture from Essex to Medway, perma tanned behind the wheel of a Overfinch Range Rover in juicy couture. We’ve picked a lovely cover photo from Parkwood, just for you!]

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