St Andrews – Such a lovely town, if you are tourist or student that is…
People often say to me, "oh you are from St Andrews, you must be posh?", to which I reply, "I'll tell the jokes!"
Prestonpans residents, they’re the most miserable lot in East Lothian
Prestonpans people are half baked, miserable, bitter, and as sour faced as Andrew Lloyd Webber licking on a nettle.
Carlisle: the people who inhabit this city are not quite right
Carlise: a land you will never forget and unless you have a raging drug problem, you will never visit again.
Pollok, Glasgow, attempts to modernise the place have largely failed
Pollok, Glasgow, named after the fish that used to swim in the river before it became too trolley strewn to support any living creature.
Aviemore: we are made to feel as welcome as a Christian in Saudi Arabia
The main hotel in Aviemore looks more like a huge block of council flats, the estates on the outskirts are little more than ghettos.