Living in Halstead, Essex

Halstead – a place time forgot, full of lowlifes

Halstead, the town is full of chavy scumlords and the majority either smoke weed in the park shelters or do drag racing around Butler Road.

Living in Purfleet, Essex

Purfleet, Essex: home to chavs, druggies and jobless layabouts

If you like drugs and not working, then Purfleet is the place to be. However, if you're like me, then get the hell out of dodge.

Living in Southend-on-sea

Southend-on-Sea, the arse of Essex

Southend is surely the worst place to live in England. The town is full of 12 year old 'roadmen' (the chav does not exist down here now).

Living in Colchester

Colchester, omg innt whateva geez, we iz fik!

Colchester has emptying shops, empty bus depots, dangerously uneven pavements and an embarrassment of a Saturday town market.

Living in Leigh on sea, Essex

Leigh on Sea, thinks it’s a glass of champagne, when really it’s a bucket of p*ss

It's at night that the true horror of Leigh manifests itself . Coked up oiks and orange women, eyeing each other up.