Colchester: A Shameful Essex Dump

Living in Colchester, Essex
Living in Colchester, Essex

Colchester, Christ, where to begin with this absolute dump? As with most big towns, it’s the people that let this place down.

I’ve lived in a few different places and **** me this has to be the worst. It has become so overcrowded, depressing and has seriously gone down hill in the past few years. Crime has risen significantly. If you’re not getting stabbed, you’re getting your car/bike nicked or house broken into by some ne’er-do-well. The amount of criminal ne’er-do-wells here is off the scale. It seems to be getting worse.

The High Street

A walk along the high street, day or night, you’ll see groups of smackheads. They can often be seen drinking white lightning at St Botolph’s or the bus station. Marvel at the 14 year old thugs wearing man bags, doing wheelies in the middle of the road. Overall the high street offers nothing special, except for the thick yokels and criminally under-educated who walk it every day out of nothing better to do.

How grim is your Postcode?

The place is becoming severely polluted. The roads are atrocious for those lucky enough to try and escape. Boy racers in their souped up mums cars, constantly race around Colchester’s 6575 roundabouts. Just watching these idiots can make you lose brain cells.

Colchester is expanding by the second. Houses are being thrown up along with endless retail outlets, which means more thickos can fester in this t*rd of a town.


The nightlife is average for its size. There’s lots of pubs, but be prepared to see a fight or six outside Yates or Atik. Unfortunately the two redeeming features of this town, Castle Park and the zoo, are overshadowed by the absolute idiots that live here.

I feel there is something built within the people Colchester under the layers of stone island attire, that makes them be as threatening as possible in as little time possible. A stare can turn into a ‘you f**kin what mate? I’ll do you in you caaaaaagghnt’. Colchester has also won the award of most trackies worn by per 100 of the population, coming in with a staggering 94.

This place is going down the toilet, wouldn’t bother living here, you will only be met with disappointment and regret.

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