Langley Mill

While I was at university, I believed I had escaped the horrible cluster of small East Midlands towns of my childhood forever. Not so. Sitting down to watch a documentary about neo-fascism in England, where should I find was the centre of this particularly unpleasant aspect of **** existence, but Langley Mill? Langley Mill is […]

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Eastwood, you’ve a choice between Morrisons or Iceland for your micro-chips & blue pop

Come to sunny Eastwood, heart of England! There is plenty for you to do during your stay! It is very close to some of the other towns mentioned on this site, and is definitely of their ilk. See the articles posted on Selston, Alfreton and Somercotes to get the feel for this particular area of […]

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Selston

“Selston, Selston” so ***** i named it twice. From the age of 11-18 i was educated in this wrong village on the edge of the Nottinghamshire/Derbyshire border. A small-minded ex-mining village with more scutters than many of its bigger counterparts, Selston really is a quite, quite special place to be! ***** of all ages are […]

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Eastwood

As a youngster, I remember the ex-mining town of Eastwood with fond memories. The birthplce of DH Lawrence and the local market as far as the eye could see with quality products….at affordable prices. Around 8 years ago this picture started to become a distant dream. The market changed and Iceland and Farmfoods, had a […]

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worksop

firstly i must point out, this town is not your ordinary chavtown, this is the mecca of all *****, a 9ct argos goldmine for the underclass. worksop, its glory moments include being the home to lee westwood, no not the wigga off of radio1, thats tim westwood, but lee westwood, the **** golfer. you wouldn’t […]

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Mansfield, ***** galore

More special than Special Brew, Mansfield is the place to be when it comes to **** spotting. Tarted-up Novas, Sierras and Escorts are de rigueur round and about the town of Mansfield. The handy location of the cinema complex, within a stone’s throw of both a Maccas and a KFC drive-thru ensures that the ***** […]

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Mansfield

More special than Special Brew, Mansfield is the place to be when it comes to **** spotting. Tarted-up Novas, Sierras and Escorts are de rigueur round and about the town of Mansfield. The handy location of the cinema complex, within a stone’s throw of both a Maccas and a KFC drive-thru ensures that the ***** […]

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‘Notanam’

‘Notanam’ or Nottingham as any well educated person would pronounce it is one of the over-sized petri dishes used to produce such a huge amount of **** **** on an hourly rate. Although they can seen during day light hours, usually in a group of 5 – 20+ ******* around smoking, shouting, swearing and blinging, […]

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Kirkby-in-Ashfield

Kirkby-in-Ashfield – it’s the place to come if you’re desperate to experience life on the edge! of suicide. See a moped on fire on the football pitch! Hear car alarms! Smell – erm – well we don’t know but it’s pretty much always there.Kirkby-in-Ashfield is a charming town in the east midlands, between Nottingham and […]

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Newark

A short time ago I had the misfortune to visit the town of Newark in Nottinghamshire. All I can do is extend my deepest sympathies to all the ‘normal’ residents of this pile of purest ****** ****. I was only in the town for a couple of hours (thought it would make a nice change […]

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