Bourne: a backwater Lincolnshire market town

Living in Bourne, Lincolnshire
Living in Bourne, Lincolnshire

Now there has been a couple of articles on here written about Bourne, which where down right nasty and scathing. Now here is the truth. Bourne is a backwater Lincolnshire market town that sits on the A15 to either Sleaford or Peterborough, and believe me, you do not want to go to Sleaford – Despite that that no matter where you are, you will always see a road sign that says “The North” followed underneath by “Sleaford”. Sleaford is where the ******* of Lincolnshire go to live.

Bourne has a very diverse mixture of pubs, ranging from “HOW MUCH, I only wanted a pint – not buy the place” – To cheap and cheerful places where I’m 110% positive they do manage to clean the place once a fortnight.

There is also an abundant array of eateries – We are not talking Michelin star here or fine dining, but if you like a curry or chicken balls, Bourne has you covered. For more sophisticated dining, there is a Subway down the Burghley shopping centre. Last but not least, Bourne joined the coffee revolution and has a Costa Coffee. If you do like shopping, Bourne has a selection of supermarkets, Sainsbury’s, Tesco. Lidl (could be Aldi, all I know it’s German and cheap) and the grand daddy of all the shops… The “**** Waitrose” Heron Foods.

How grim is your Postcode?

All other bases are covered with fine selection of independent shops or Superdrug, That’s where the average man of Bourne, goes to buy his “Pulling aftershave” with their cheap prices and believe me, you can’t buy Brut 33 or Old Spice cheaper than superdrug. Blue Stratus is a little more pricey – But you do pay for quality.

Their are some downsides – The local **** element in their “Halfords Heroes”. The motorist behind the wheel of a ch4vmobile, who has kitted out his bottom-of-the-range hatchback with several hundredweight of expensive tat, including alloy wheels, ludicrous spoilers, an extremely loud stereo and an exhaust pipe like a ******* coal scuttle. They must think it looks good and gets their ladies wetter than a mermaids m*nge. We just ignore them.

So next time you are on the A15, follow that sign to Sleaford and pass through Bourne, with its diverse culture, excellent eateries and locals who like a bull horn, announce their arrival 4 miles outside of town by their cologne wearing.

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