Skegness – where the Northerners go to die

Living in Skegness, Lincolnshire

Skegness cannot easily be described to those who have not experienced its uniquely wrist-slashing bleakness and the true sense of hopelessness that hangs heavy in the air of this insipid little seaside hovel. From the moment you arrive until the time you flee this ****-******** scab of a town, you are relentlessly stunned at what […]

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Boston, in Lincolnshire, seems to be a run down hot bed of degenerates

Living in Boston, Lincolnshire

Let’s get the good bits out of the way, I’ve met some amazing people since I moved here, some of the best friends you could ever ask for. However, on the whole, the market town of Boston, in Lincolnshire, seems to be a run down hot bed of degenerates. Petty crime is rife, not to […]

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Bourne, the place where social progress goes to die.

Living in Bourne, Lincolnshire

It’s somewhat ironic that Bourne boasts two well-respected secondary schools, given that they provide the town’s younger generations with the best possible route out of this flat-as-a-pancake hellscape. Only those too thick to figure out an escape plan remain past college age, where they slowly ferment into the kind of dim-witted, loud-mouthed, racist, homophobic rednecks […]

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Grimsby & Cleethorpes are depressing, cold, unfriendly holes

Living in Grimsby & Cleethorpes

GRIMSBY and CLEETHORPES! what a backward, awful, depressing, unfriendly, hole this place is. Unless you have lived here for 5000 years, forget it. The locals are rude, cold, unfriendly, suspicious, and absolute miserable gits. If you are from outside the area, you may as well call it a day for friends, jobs, etc The ner’do’well […]

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Donington, bit by bit it is slowly being ruined

Living in Donington

Donington used to be a beautiful, small village situated between Boston and Spalding, just off the A52. The market place is always very busy, sometimes it is impossible to park to go to the shops. This says a lot about the centre of Donington. It has 2 fish shops, 2 Chinese takeaways, a Coop and […]

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Gainsborough, Like Lincoln but smaller

Living in Gainsborough

Gainsborough is quite a pleasant place to live… if you live in the correct part that is. For example, if you live in the uphill of Gainsborough where Whites Wood Lane is, you’re likely to keep your windows intact. However if you live in a different part your windows may not survive. Gainsborough is home […]

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Sleaford: completely backwards and they like it that way!

Living in Sleaford

Sleaford, populated by neanderthals with no desire to better themselves or open their minds and horizons. Indeed, where else has a populace whose ambitions are gaining a tractor license and incest? Narrow-minded, mentally-deficient and blinkered, the average resident of Sleaford (Excepting those who have arrived from elsewhere and have actually seen something of the rest […]

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Wow! It’s Bourne! A town taken over by takeaways, hairdressers & cafés

Living in Bourne

Well, what can I say?! Bourne…a small town. Classed as a market town, yet the market has only around 4 stalls, mostly owned by the same guy! He knows how to make a living from fruit, veg and flowers/plants! The majority of the town has been taken over by takeaways, hairdressers and cafés. The oldies […]

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Spaldinski, East of Krakow

Living in Spalding, Lincolnshire

Most towns spawn Costa coffee shops. In Spalding, all empty properties are snapped up as Eastern European off-licences where they sell knocked-off ciggies and bootleg liquor which often sends you blind. The population is now neatly divided between disgruntled and elderly Daily Mail-reading gimmers and a younger generation of Poles/Lithuanians/Latvians/Russians – you can easily tell […]

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Horncastle, living here for 7yrs i’ve discovered “quaint” means “dull”

Living in Horncastle

Horncastle is a quaint, traditional, little market town set within the Lincolnshire Wolds, an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty. Sounds lovely, doesn’t it? Unfortunately after living here for seven years, you soon discover that the Wolds are just a bunch of hills, “quaint” means “dull” and “traditional” means “Doesn’t like black people”. The average age […]

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