I’ve seen many articles on here proclaiming Coventry to be a dump, and, in spite of what the primitive Coventrians in the comments will tell you, I can assure you that all you have read is indeed true: Coventry is a dump. This once great industrial city has been reduced to nothing but one huge university campus. While the students, most of which come from outside the UK and do not pay council tax, sit in their student skyscrapers, the primitive ***** roam the baron wastelands below, often referred to as the ‘city centre’.
The city centre itself has been ruined by the useless road changes, most of which were made to accommodate buses. Indeed, as a car driver or a cyclist, the city centre can be a treacherous place to navigate. The Burges per se is a dangerous place to go, littered with bus stops and their associated buses, ********** ***** and…McDonalds – this area is a hotspot for crimes such as assault. The alleyway next to McDonalds (now closed up) was once used as a public toilet, a place to **** people up, and a drug dealing area.
The city centre became even more dangerous from 2008, when the new college opened up in the Swanswell area of the city – now during the weekdays, you can observe the stampede of regressive ***** roaming the city centre, on their way to college. Be particularly careful at 12:15 – that is feeding time at the zoo, when the ***** are unleashed. They will descend upon McDonalds and KFC, so evacuate The Burges before 12:15 and you should be relatively safe.
While the city centre is a hotspot for students, and their associated accommodation, outer town areas of the city also accommodate a high proportion of students, most of which do not look when crossing the road. Don’t feel too bad if one of them just walks out in front of your car and gets squashed like a bug – you will have contributed to the cleansing of the gene pool.
Coventry, in recent years, has seen a growth in the agricultural sector. You will often see men walking out of houses, carrying bags of produce – ready to be sold on your nearest council estate. Most of this produce is completely illegal, and you’d expect the police to act quickly on any information provided so as to ensure the fight against drugs is won, right? No, don’t be ridiculous. The police? Stopping crime? Pfft, in your dreams. No, no – if you ever find yourself living next to a cannabis factory in this city, do not rely on the police to help you. Despite what they may say, they WILL NOT act on any information you give them. You’ll have to come up with a solution to that problem yourself.
The council (or some other organisation) also seem to enjoy putting absolute **** next to decent people, giving them a house and letting them do whatever the hell they please. The people they put in these houses seem to be coming out of care, or a young offenders institute, or indeed prison. These people are often loud, stupid, fat and have a lot of *** – like elephants at the zoo. Truly, the people they put in these houses are the absolute lowest of the low – the rejects of society. Pure filth. The ***** rap music they play on full blast alone is reason enough to initiate intimidate gene pool cleansing.
Oh, and avoid Spon End – massive dump, full of ****. The subway there is particularly bad.
The council…ah yes, I haven’t spoken about them yet. Well errr – they’re awful. They seem determined to ruin the city, turning it into one massive university campus – alienating the decent city residents. Ah yes, Coventry does still have decent people in it – most of which can be found in Earlsdon, Finham, Allesley – you know, all the good areas? The **** are often in Spon End, Hillfields, Radford etc. Your best bet is to keep away from the north of Coventry – huge dump. Stick to the south and you should be okay.
The council also seem determined to turn Coventry into a happy-clappy liberal place, where everyone is accepted regardless of race, gender and religion – on their pursuit of equality and diversity. As such, the city is dubbed a ‘City of Peace and Reconciliation’ – I assure you the majority of residents are not this stupid. In spite of what the city portrays, we actually hate this plainly stupid affront to our democracy. Political correctness is rife in Coventry however – even me, writing this now, would be frowned upon, simply because I am telling the truth. The truth is not permitted in Coventry. We are sick and tired of left-wing loonies catering to people’s sensitivities, so as not to ‘offend’, and turning the place into one massive dump.
To conclude: Steer clear of Coventry. DO NOT ENTER under ANY circumstances. You could be stabbed. Actually, you know what? Just avoid the entire of the West Midlands – the whole place is ****, ESPECIALLY Birmingham. Go to Cardiff, or Canterbury or something, they’re much nicer – just stay the hell away from Coventry.
Leicester – The Cheater’s Haven
Coventry – Worse than ever
Southam… probably one of the dullest towns around
Rugby aka Drugby
Keresley – What went wrong?
Coventry – The Hellhole of Britain
Well… It’s Coventry
Rugby: Warehouse jobs and drugs a plenty
Coventry, Chaventry, whatever, it’s a ********, even the radio stations are ****!