Coalville, or ‘Co-ville’ as it is known in regional dialect is a small town located in the midlands, and would seem to be a prime location for ‘Ch4v’ or ‘Illegal immigrant’ spotting. The other percentage of the population of Coalville seems to be made up of old age pensioners or simply those who are verging on the brink of insanity. The whole town seems to have a depressing feel to it, and most of the time the inhabitants seem to walk around in a zombie like state, probably from the sheer boredom and dismal atmosphere of the place.
C**v’s can usually be found hanging around the ‘Belvoir’ shopping centre, which offers a variety of shops, such as select, and new look. There is also an ‘Argos’, for C**v’s to kit themselves out in the latest of ‘bling’, from gold clown pendants, sovereign rings to creole earrings of all sizes. Coalville also offers a Scuba Diving equipment shop, a range of take aways including a Turkish restaurant, and a college, Stephenson College, or ‘Stevos’. The recently closed down Snibston discovery park has just made the town ten times worse , every c**v is flogging to the cv park and hanging around the local maccies with allegedly their illicit drugs, thinking they own the place.
If Coalville were to be summed up as a smell, that smell would be of urine, damp dog, and cheap cider.