If you are thinking of moving to Coalville, then read this. Your sanity os on the line. As if the general aroma of a deceased town with zilch prospects wasn’t unappetising enough, we now have a 99% derelict addiction and the dole sucking kids to go with it! Welcome to a town that’s lost all aspiration, that’s given up on a chance of revival, and that’s thrown away any possible aspects that once made it even slightly appealing (Although, if I’m honest, it’s difficult to visualise such a bizarre proposition without slipping into a coma similar to sugar shock).
Increasing numbers of shops are abandoning ship and I have to say, that’s probably the only thing that’s keeping me going, for the more companies that decide to leave Coalville in the dust, the better chance that we’ll get so lost in the smog of nothingness that we’ll just have to close down and too jump ship with the rest of the lucky [email protected] who had the bright idea to pack up shop.
You’ll likely lose every bit of sanity and good nature you possess while residing with us, and I can almost gamble my last flecks of sanity that a large contribution of the cynical and depressing persona you may possess will be sculptured here. Listen, if you’re a parent/soon to be parent that’s weighing up options on where to move to, STEER CLEAR OF THIS PLACE, if you’re one of the unlucky one’s your child will possibly turn cynical and depressive from the sheer boredom and lack of prospects this town delivers.
Hold on to the little hope you have, and don’t come and join us, for hopes and dreams will be smashed within a year or two of as long as you’re residing with us.
Markfield: Christ, this place is awful!
Leicester: feel threatened by the sheer amount of ‘Roadmen’
Ibstock, a journey back to the 1980’s
Coalville: most of the inhabitants walk around in a zombie like state
Come to Wigston and sample the smells, the broken glass & the syringes
Sileby – A depressing town with a shameful history
Hinckley: Pretensions To Adequacy
Loughborough – Bells and Bell-Ends
At Leicester’s Clock Tower, smell the stench of BO & cheap perfume