So you fancy a trip to Paignton?

Living in Paignton, Devon
Living in Paignton, Devon

So, fancy a visit to Paignton eh? Firstly, if young free and single, ensure your vaccinations are up to date and you can be sure to take a few crabs home with you and not from the fishmongers.

A book on local dialect would be useful, not Devonian, but scouse, brummie or Eastern European would be essential. A stint on strictly would help when strolling through the town, I find a quickstep will ease you past the usual ner’do’wells who twitch at the word work, then gleefully line up at the post office on benefit day.

The paso will assist in avoiding the dog sh#t on the paths and samba when queuing in shops to stop pickpockets helping themselves.

How grim is your Postcode?

Please save your cash and soul by avoiding this town, if you want any further clarification, look at the latest pictures of crossways shopping centre, locally named downtown Beirut

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