Aaah, Northampton Town – the United Kingdom’s third largest town, home to the ever delightful Cobblers football club and beautiful architecture dating back to the 17th Century. Problem is, it is also home to a growing number of *****, who are spreading like a viral plague not too dissimilar from a mass zombie outbreak. Unfortunately, […]
Northampton is a shining example of rapid post war expansion gone wrong. I’m certain the planners of the day were doing their best but it seems like the ‘ton was a Friday afternoon rush job. after spraying the town centre with concrete they then saw fit to build a shanty town encircling the main arena. […]
Read More… from Northampton: come one, come all and suck us dry
Welcome to the Chavspotting Capital of the world! To the poor person that may find themselves in the once glorious town of Northampton, I would like to offer a few kind words of wisdom. I am only 16 years old but in my time growing up here I have seen some of the townies evolving […]
I have had the sad misfortune to witness the decline of this once great midlands town into a shrine to **** and villainy over the last three decades. It is now characterized by the illiterate **** (presumeably like Tinkerbell in an earlier post) and the annoying little trumped up ‘driver’ **** who charges around the […]
A Town degenerating from once proud centre of middle England to **** torment. Where to start… For starters, back in the 1970’s/80’s when I was growing up, there was not one modified 15 year old car in sight. Just your crappy cars of dubious build quality that broke down after 1000 miles and had to […]
Read More… from Northampton, degenerating from once proud centre of middle England
If you ever find yourself in Northampton (which i hope for your sake you don’t)… please take the time to observe our loverly wide range of *****. They can be found in the loverly Kings Heath. Now please take my advice never walk through this place and if your driving don’t be on your own! […]
Read More… from Northampton, observe our loverly wide range of *****
It’s 9:15 on a typical Northampton morning. I’m walking through town on my way to the bank when there’s a disturbance behind me. I spin around and suddenly the realisation hits me….. it’s giro day. The top of Abington Street is suddenly a sea of Burberry-topped prams and pushchairs as the teenage mothers rush to […]
Poor old Nobhampton! When I was growing up in the late seventies, it was believe it or not, quite an interesting town to live in, it had a healthy punk scene, loads of gigs, good record and clothes shops etc. Don’t get me wrong, the toned-down **** equivalent existed even then, we called them ‘Yampi’s’ […]
Read More… from Northampton: characterless & overflowing with nobs & Eastern Europeans
Apparently there are only about 70 licensed *** shops in the UK. Well, at least three of them are along the Wellingborough (or “Welly”) Road in Northampton, which may explain why the ***** breed so fast there. There aren’t any interesting jobs in Northampton; most people work for Barclaycard or other boring service companies. Therefore […]
Northampton, a once-proud market town with its own identity and a long, distinguished history of boot and shoe manufacturing has now fallen victim to the Burbonic plague. Some blame this on the close proximity of Corby (AKA “Little Scotland”, the place with the lowest life expectancy levels in the whole of England), whilst others blame […]
Everything a modern **** needs ! […]
The ***** harrass the mini moshers at the top of Abington Street and in the graveyard nearby. Usually found around the ends of streets in St James and Semilong, or masturbating over their cars in the Argos car park late at night. The uniform is a white Eminem style cap and blue tracksuits, tucked into […]
