Welcome to the Chavspotting Capital of the world!
To the poor person that may find themselves in the once glorious town of Northampton, I would like to offer a few kind words of wisdom. I am only 16 years old but in my time growing up here I have seen some of the townies evolving with ‘rudeys’ and then these ‘rudeys’ and townies breeding together to form the ***** we all love so much [/sarcasm].
I go to Northampton School for Girls which in recent years has turned very much into the school that the self-respecting upper-class **** girl must get herself into. One cannot move to far without being hit by taunts by other classmates (****) against any of us alternatives, goth’s grebs and general rockers. The headmistresses (no matter how lovely they are) are very much blind to the thieving that is taking place right under their noses.
Hardly a week goes buy without another person asking if they have seen a ‘missing’ jacket, phone, mp3 player or cd player. The chances of retrieving such items within the school are about the same chances of winning the lottery and a Hollywood movie star proposing to you in the same day, non existent. Also the amount of underage teenage pregnancies and abortions that happen at this school leave little hope for what my generation will be seen as in a few years time.
A few words of wisdom for grebs, Goths and alternatives from things I have experienced. If you value the money in your purse then try to go down to Spun Out in Gold street in a group. There has been many a time when I have found myself coming face to face with a **** asking ‘Do ya have change cuz I really need a ***’ then if you where to tell them you have nothing you still find yourself subject to a impromptu search whether you are male or female (especially if you are the latter).
Abington Street in its golden age was once a place a greb, goth, alternative or general rocker could go to meet up with friends before or after work, or even to socialise. Now if you stand there on your own waiting for friends one cannot help but feel as if they are been watched and sized up by every passing ****. I have found myself subject to many **** comments all of which where less then flattering while waiting for friends.
One particular incident I remember very clearly was one night when I was walking through the Grosvernor Centre with a few friends on the way to Roadmender (we where walking through it for safety). A **** approached me and started insulting me calling me a good for nothing greebo ‘*****’. I would have taken it personally if it wasn’t for his girlfriend wear a near identical skirt to me, but with a low cut top whom was at least a good few stone heavier then me.
Want to find yourself a teenage pregnant ****? Then look no further then the one glorious Kingsley, this was one a glorious community within Northampton, now not a night passes when I do not hear a car alarm going off (a **** legging it the other way) or a police siren followed by seeing a police car firing off into the notorious Kingsley council estate.
Oh and if you value your children’s education (and life) then do not, I repeat do not send your child to Weston Favell School. I remember not that long ago when it had results that where topping Girls school. Now it has turned into what one would refer to as a ‘inner city slum school’. I’m sure all locals will remember this story; a 13 year old girl was standing in the lunch queue when she had her hair set on fire. Many of my friends there have often told me about how they go through a good few teachers a month, what sort of education is this going to leave my generation with?
Oh and while I am talking about our ‘faboulous’ town, I cannot help but mention about the famous Wellingborough Road or Welly road to locals).
Fact: Did you know that there are only something like 98 registered *** shops in the whole of the United Kingdom.
Fact: 2/3 Of these 98 are down our ‘Welly Road’ alone, now who can say flies to the ****?
I know myself like many of my other school friends are all planning to escape the **** town when we have the resources to. But at the moment all we can do is travel in groups, get lifts where possible, work our way through sixth form and hope our visa’s for Canada clear fast.