If you ever find yourself in Northampton (which i hope for your sake you don’t)… please take the time to observe our loverly wide range of *****. They can be found in the loverly Kings Heath. Now please take my advice never walk through this place and if your driving don’t be on your own! You will find the loveliest of loverly ***** here such as 16 year old girls pushing babies around with greased back hair stuck to the side of their head, big gold earrings and odd gold clowns round their neck and the lads with their caps so far back on their head they could fall off any minute, big gold rings that could imprint markings on your face, trousers tucked into their socks (just to make their legs look that bit skinnier than they already are) and just so not to let you down, they will always be in tow with a packet of Richmond Superkings and a bottle of white lightning.
Don’t be fooled by the Kings Heath posse, their parents are just as chavey as them as are their parents and so on. Also if you go into Northampton’s main town centre and find yourself outside Sports Direct, beware because your on their land. Also if you decide to walk to KFC in the town centre you will find many ***** interrogating what we call goths, grungers and alternative folk with sticks and stones etc, while the long haired lovers will just look on in disbelief. BLESS!
Northampton **** talk:
Is it cus i is white?
That is dry
Northampton: come one, come all and suck us dry
Daventry, town of the zombie
Burton Latimer – **** Central Of Kettering
Daventry, the opposite of Hotel California
Rugby aka Drugby
Northampton: dangerous at night, unpleasant during the day
Northampton, also known as ‘Nofuntown’
Rugby: Warehouse jobs and drugs a plenty
Northampton: characterless & overflowing with nobs & Eastern Europeans