Northampton: characterless & overflowing with nobs & Eastern Europeans

Poor old Nobhampton! When I was growing up in the late seventies, it was believe it or not, quite an interesting town to live in, it had a healthy punk scene, loads of gigs, good record and clothes shops etc. Don’t get me wrong, the toned-down **** equivalent existed even then, we called them ‘Yampi’s’ after a Punk fanzine from Coventry that took the piss out of them. Then, their uniform was usually this: half-grown moustache, burgundy cardigan, wedge haircut, tats, menacing stare, and an absolute necessity, the ability to talk out of the corner of the mouth whilst smoking a ‘bacca’ – to make them look as ‘ard as f*ck, me ol’ beauty’.

Northampton is now like any other town in the UK, characterless and overflowing with *****/nobs and ugly jobless Eastern Europeans. Any atmosphere that may have been generated by the presence of traffic in the town centre has been taken over by the ‘shopping precinct effect’. This is created by a group of town planners, whose only planning brief must have been: ‘ Urgent: Please make town centre look as **** and ugly as possible’.

Nobhampton has an overabundance of ***** because of its previous history as a boot and shoe town with hundreds of factories. These are now mostly gone, but were the workplaces of many a **** father or grandfather. This is where the Northampton **** learnt how to speak from the side of his mouth – a device used for making oneself audible above the noise of machinery.

I don’t know if anyone else has smacked a **** but it really is a nice feeling….go on have a go! (although the Editor must point out that we at iLiveHere recommend that you don’t ‘smack’ anyone as it’s against the law). These **** are exactly that, nobody’s. There’s nothing hard about them, they’re just spineless weedy ****, don’t let yourself be intimidated by some gormless piece of sh*t from Thorplands whose seen a Public Enemy video and thinks he’s tough!

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