Southport, Merseyside

Southport, Merseyside Property

Southport to many appears a quite town where old people come on holiday to sit on benches, eat fish and chips and wait to die… this town is known to many as the Gateway to Heaven.. but look beyond this “old fashioned Sea Side Town” and you will discover a darker nastier secret.

Beyond the tree lined streets lies the **** Underground… daily destroying unattended railway stations, smashing bustops, drinking Cider bought by their mates brother from Spar and stocking up on JJB discounts at the Kew Retail Park. Southport prides itself on its shopping facilities, but you will still find many **** favourites i.e. B&M Bargains, Instore (formerly Poundland), JD Sports, just to name a few.

Residents and regular visitors of Southport will be familiar of the “**** Parking Spot” at the drive thru McDonalds (last 3 spots on the left as you drive out) … and the badly painted neon Yellow Nova driver parading up and down Lord Street on a Saturday Night with his latest Dreamscape CD on…

How grim is your Postcode?

And who could forget that a ****’s day out would be incomplete without a visit to the Funfair… spitting on people from above on the Skyride.. to winning stuffed toys for their Girlfriend Britney who he met on the Liverpool-Southport train last Friday.

In a word……. ****.