Sunny ‘Sh*thole’ Southport, the ugly face of this seaside town

Living in Southport

The reality of this idyllic seaside town shows it’s ugly face when you start going to the local clubs and pubs. Within a matter of weeks you are watching people getting their heads kicked in, smoking dubes and popping garries, much like the 70% of the population of Southport who don’t have a fat bank account, wear oblivious goggles or have grey/perfect white/blue rinse hair.

The reality is there is a humongous divide between the ‘do’s’ and the ‘don’ts’…don’t do drugs; don’t really drink; don’t know of anyone or are personally involved in crime and don’t **** anything with a pulse. These people are living in utopia, blind to the reality, blind to the beggars on the streets, blind to the alcoholics in a certain pub chain at 7am and blind/deaf to the countless bag ‘eds screaming at each other down the street “Pete, were ar me ****** big issues???”…

There are three mindsets here; 1. Leave college, leave town. 2. Live a life that resembles the TV show Friends: get wildly drunk once, fall in love, mortgage, push a couple out, get a blue rinse, die, or, 3. One that involves becoming a shady character where the drugs, crime, *** and violence is not only commonplace but acceptable and justified for those who pop a garrie then dare to think or act differently ever again.

How grim is your Postcode?

There’s a lot of wannabe ‘Al Capone’ types here who are all too ready to throw insults, spread rumors and give dirty looks but far to ‘ball – less’ to do anything more serious than a ***** slap. Wannabe queen bee’s who are happy to be called mum by their ‘crew’ of confused females… lesbians with kids. Men – boy characters who still believe they are eighteen despite their balding heads, beer bellies and four kids to four confused females.

Clubs full of druged up w*nkers who break your skull for looking at them wrong and pubs that have pictures of regulars on the wall that were taken 20 years ago – the same people still drink there now. A lake where you can get raped. A nature reserve where you can set up a tent. A beach where you can build oily sandcastles and drown when the invisible tides actually come in.
Birkdale where the ‘too cool for school’ jocks reside. High park where the ‘too poor for suburbia’ hang. Ainsdale where everyone kinda wants to leave Southport but are too afraid to actually do it live, Churchtown, Brunswick, Meols Cop and Marshside: surburbia, where the oblivious to reality, just plodding along live. Immediate town center outskirts or aka retirement city and Banks where the very wealthy who have made their money legitimately reside.

I left this sh*thole six years ago but I’m back for a very short period and the only things that have changed: there’s a lot of empty shops, a lot of charity shops, the scallies now have kids who are learning how to skin up and the kids of the confused female ****** are growing up confused with three mums and two possible dads.

By all means, come and live here, but stay in suburbia.