Silsden: outsiders don’t see the real underbelly

Living in Silsden, West Yorkshire
Living in Silsden, West Yorkshire

Where do i start!

Silsden, is what appears to be a small quiet village community and to any outsiders probably is, but until you live there, you don’t see the truth the real underbelly of what could be the next countryside getaway…  when actually its quite possibly one of the biggest ********* you’ve ever seen…. if Silsden were a living room all the s**t would be hidden under the rug.

In Silsden there are many **** attractions, cheap housing offers a place for them to incest-ually breed and the park is a stable growing up ground for the teens… They hang in groups of 4 or more, and at any time of the day you are guaranteed to find them in the park either shooting up, or trying to mug someone.  I personally have banned myself from ever crossing the park, even though it’s a shortcut to my house, after last time when i stepped on that syringe.   So the park, it’s filled with ***** and syringes, and crappy **** messages like ‘I WUZ ERE DARREN 04 *** U 2’ written on the side of the swings.

How grim is your Postcode?

Moving on to other attractions in Silsden, my personal favourite… yep its the graveyard!  Unlike most over graveyards, silsden’s is situated right next door to a nursing home… well thats just real thoughtful from the Bradford council planning department Right there!!! I mean, I cant wait until i get old, i’ll have a patio view of things to come, i’ll probably even be able to pick my spot out before i pop my cloggs.  You may be thinking ‘but this doesn’t have anything to do with *****’ well you’re wrong, for the graveyard is a prime collection ground for them, mainly **** couples. they go after hours late at night, i’ve never seen them myself, like the park i’ve also banned myself from going into the graveyard after hours.  You may be asking… how do i know that ***** go their if i’ve never been in? well i have been in during the day… and it’s full of condoms, yep thats right, scattered everywhere.. near the gravestones… how respectful. now the only type of person who would **** like a rabbit in a graveyard is… yep you’ve guessed it!

What else do we have… ohh yes! the type of ***** living here, they don’t work, they live on the dole and most of them are aged 20 – 40… it’s funny.. i was at the bus stop the other day… i looked across the road at a house door opening. This guy ran out down the road, nothing on his feet and tried to catch up with this woman.. he looked at her and shouted “EYYY DICKED HOW THE **** AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING, IVE GOT NO CLEAN SOCKS”.  Now don’t get me wrong, but i don’t think cleaning socks is all that big a job… one doesn’t need a college education or university degree.

Silsden is also a passing place for those scallies who don’t have homes, yes thats correct! i’ve heard stories and i’ve seen them myself, they pitch tents in the park and camp in Silsden every now and then. I wish they’d OD already and be done with it.

The type of **** in Silsden is your standard aggressive ‘ill start on you whatever the **** you’re doing… and if you’re doing nothing, i’ll still f*****g start on you’ type.

They do wear their socks over their trousers, which i never did figure out… to me it just looks like they are imitating a hitch hiking grandad. They don’t seem to realise we laugh at them for it and it makes it all the more worth while.

There used to be a time when Silsden was a nice town, free of *****, its just a shame Keighley overflowed and spread the disease.

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