Bartley (New Forest) between the c**v capital of Totton, and the posh man’s village Lyndhurst

Living in Bartley, Hampshire
Living in Bartley, Hampshire

Bartley (New Forest) between the c**v capital of Totton, and the posh man’s village Lyndhurst

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Bartley, in the middle of the New Forest is stuck in the middle of no where between the c**v capital of Totton, and the posh man’s village Lyndhurst. The village is home to many c***s of the local School, many of which you can see walking around the village with their hoods up smoking a joint. Hanging round the corner little sh**hole shop at the end of New Inn Road is their favourite place.

Sitting on their bikes and giving a death stare as you walk by is their favourite pastime, as well in the woods behind Chinham Road, where they discuss their drug habits and do some dealing. A c**v caravan estate is located just off Bourne Lane and full of council estate inbred teenagers who got pregnant at 16 years old when they banged in the local woods – classy.

The local post office and ‘Fourways Store’ is the centre of the village community, being a meeting place for the Hounsdown c***s, it’s not a site to be missed if near by. The shop’s owner is a pretty tough guy, after battling a local c**v and pulling a knife out the inbred’s hand, he held the man in a headlock on the counter till the local PoPo arrived.

If you love christmas then Bartley is the place to go. Many locals get pissed off when numerous houses along Chinham Road put up their Christmas Lights over a month early, lighting up the streets so no one can get to sleep at night. Each year the envy between houses increases and more and more lights appear each year.

The best houses are said to be the one next to the local c**v meeting point of the post office, and the other end of Chinham Road where the lights aren’t even decorated in an orderly pattern, it seems they are just thrown wherever as the people of Bartley do not give any f***s.

If you’re lucky you may see the local travelling folk, waiting at the bus stop opposite Shepherds Road, waiting for their bus to the local c**v town Totton for their weekly visit to the 99p store.


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