Living in Wokingham
  Written by Anonymous. Pic Via

We live in Wokingham. We don’t like it….for one reason, and that reason is….PIKES (aka. Chavs!). Wokingham may not seem too bad for those visiting, but we’re not visitors…oh no we are residents! We both live near the woosehill estate (one of us living right in the middle of it!). Woosehill being one of the biggest pike-central areas has a wonderful variety of places for the pikeys lovely travelling folk to hang out…

  • Morrisons – For cheap food, shelter, cheap chip shop, big empty car park and the well known amusement of trolleys, oh don’t forget nicking things!!
  • Heron Park (aka. ‘Eron or Heroin Park) – One of us lives right next to the park and lets put it this way I wouldn’t let my children go anywhere near it (not that I have any). The chavs go there to get pissed or stoned or shagged in the little trains, swings and slides etc. A happy family park (forgetting the needles, fag packets and alcopop bottles all over the place) by day. And an on-going party for inconsiderate little pikeys ranging from the age of 8-18, they seem to all be the best of friends. If you’re not a chav, you’re better off not going anywhere near Heron Park!
  • The Willows and Smiths Walk – My sister goes here with her friends to get stoned or drunk. It’s basically next to Smiths Walk which goes right through the middle of Woosehill and goes from Safeways, to Barkham Road. If your sensible you won’t go down or up smiths walk any time of the day, because you are likely to get mugged, raped or attacked. Woosehill may seem like a nice place surrounded by fields and woods and some, only some nice houses…but these fields are the perfect place to go to once you’ve been chucked out of Heron Park or Safeways!
  • The Planets – Not actually a leisure facility, but a small collection of council houses, some full of really nice people but some full of the scummiest bastards you can meet.

Thats Woosehill alone… the rest can get worse.

Wokingham in its self isn’t a bad place. It’s getting a complete new row of shops in a few years time and its being developed with lots of posh Bar’s and Restaurants being built.

As you may of read in the other thing about Wokingham, one of the places to hang round is First Bowl formally known as ‘The Big Apple’ it has a gym and pool, the famous first bowl, eternity night-club, burger king (a cheap mcdonalds), a wimpy, a bar, an arcade and laser quest (so the little pikes can practice shooting!)

a thing we missed off at the top of the list is Woosehill Underpass. Beautiful! Many budding artists show their work on the walls with spray paint! though im not sure if FU*K JAIMIEE could really get to the Tate…..
orange lighting really adds to the S**t Hole effect. As you go down the steps OR the ramp (so EVERYONE can experience this true luxury) the smell of stale piss and fags greats your nose. its no wonder its such a popular place to hang out….

But all this aside
I LOVE IT!


Top 10 worst places to live in England 2018