Chatham: the dog sh*t splattered patio of the Garden of England

Living in Chatham, Kent

Medway actually has a fair bit going for it. The North Downs and the River Medway on its borders, castles, forts, and cathedrals amongst its towns. It’s a testament to the residents commitment to crapness that, despite these draws, Medway remains the dog-**** splattered patio of the Garden of England. For reasons no one can […]

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Sittingbourne, oh the joy

Living in Sittingbourne, Kent

If you are considering moving to Sittingbourne, take my friendly and concise advice, and avoid it like the plague which manifests itself here. The place is a real sh*thole now. Disrespectful cheeky kids that are dragged up by **** parents. I work in the retail park, and the amount of litter that the sh*ttingbourne sh*te […]

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Gillingham – Lively Rubbish Bin of the South East

Living in Gillingham, Kent

I’ve only been living in Gillingham for a month but I can affirmatively say this is the worst place I have seen in this country so far. Having lived in a depressing but peaceful Aberdeen, a wild but colourful Leeds and a picturesque but boring Warwick, I wasn’t expecting much from Medway. This whole area […]

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Gillingham: a quaint little sh*tehouse situated on the river Medway

Living in Gillingham, Kent

Gillingham, Kent, a quaint little sh–ehouse situated on the river Medway. Once upon a time, it was separate from Chatham and Rochester and was a decent thriving town, a good place to live. The people of Gillingham had a different accent to their p–ey ****** rivals from Chatham, who are easy to distinguish since the […]

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Sheerness: where hopes, dreams and junkies go to die

Living in Sheerness

Sheerness is the end of the line… literally. The end of a small branch line from Sittingbourne to the Isle of Dirt. A sticky-floored tube train that smells of stale piss, Stella Artois, Amber Leaf and misanthropy. If you don’t have a car and you want to get out of the place back to the […]

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Luton in Chatham is the festering cesspit of Medway

Living in luton in Chatham

If you venture out on a dark winters night in the old luton area of chatham then beware, every movement you make will be watched by a 1000 pairs of eyes, some will be muggers in the shadows weighing you up, others will be crackhead *********** being flogged by gangs of pimps who also sell […]

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Rochester should forget Dickens. He’s dead & the town should try a new trick

Living in Rochester, Kent

Rochester, where to start, firstly forget Dickens, the locals hang onto that image with every thread in their cheap market clothing. He’s dead, and the town should try a new trick. All the local are so, ‘Oh, we live in Rochester’ really??? It really is the very very slightly upmarket Medway town, as in lower […]

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Hoo, if you smoke weed then there’s one dealer for every 3 people

Living in Hoo, Kent

Welcome to Hoo, if you smoke weed then there’s one dealer per every 3 people. Other than that there’s the ‘hoo boyz’ LOL a wannabe gang. I think someone needs to show them on a map that they don’t live in south east London, they live in a village… Then you have the Hoo Appreciation […]

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Chatham, people can often be seen urinating in the street

Living in Chatham, Kent

After having the misfortune of reading (with a struggle) the last post about Chatham i thought i would add my tuppence. I like many other that came from this town failed by an education system that was more interested in having their *** break at the rear or the tech block, than educating pupils, have […]

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